Beans.

I've taken to using chili as my go to dish for getting rid of leftover bean-type substances and vegetables.  Note to self (which is weird that I'm posting this on the internet, since it's not really to my "self" this way): ginger does not go well in chili.  Instead of tasting like chili, it tastes like someone stuck some ginger in it.  Descriptive, I know.

You Didn't Ask For It!

As you might have noticed here at 28ST, I'm a fan of Kris Allen. And NOT a fan of Twilight (sparkly vampires, puuuuuuuuuuuke). So I obviously was first in the internet line to buy Kris's debut album last Tuesday. I've now worn out the cassette tape, so I'm ready to run down the awesomeness of it all for your reading playsure. This is THE definitive unbiased review. Un. Biased.

Couple things to note: First, AI debut albums suck. They produce them in like 4 months while they tour. This isn't conducive to music that is good. Remember, Kelly's awesomeness began with her second album. So consider this context. Second, I'm not music-y enough to critique the album-iness of the album. I guess it doesn't really matter because iTunes has changed the artistic statements of albums anyway. So, like everyone else, I'm going to discuss it song-by-loverly-song:

STUFF EVEN NON-FANS WILL POOP IN THEIR PANTS FOR:

• Live Like We're Dying - There was a lot of hubbub over the fact that this first single is actually a cover of a song by the Script. First. Who? Right. So really who cares. And second, even if the Script never released it, almost every Idol has to sing something that was a reject of some other established star. Kelly sang Christina Aguilera. Adam sang Aerosmith, then Britney (and is now singing Pink). People, these contestants are being churned out like cookies. Let's give 'em a break and just enjoy the bouncy pop fun that is LLWD.
  
• The Truth - This ballad hurts. In a good way. I think it's one of the best blends of lyrics and melody on the whole album.
  
• Alright With Me - Think George Harrison's Got My Mind, and mix in one ridiculous falsetto note. You've got one of the happiest songs ever. And that's saying something, since songs are inanimate objects and can't have feelings.
  
• Red Guitar - Kris wrote this for Katy, so there's something very rough about it. It captures something pre-Idol about Kris, and you can sense it (deep, I KNOW). The only thing I don't like about it is that Kris sings it as if he has a speech impediment where he can't pronounce the letter "R" correctly. And you can't blame Arkansas for this one, K-Siz. But I still love you.
  
• I Need to Know - Kris has suggested that this is about a crisis of faith. Brother, tell me about it. I'm kinda flabbergasted that it's even on the album. It's like unpop. But really, really good.
  

STUFF ONLY FANS WILL PROLLY DROOL OVER:

• Before We Come Undone - Probably the most straightforward pop song of the whole album. And that's not a great thing. It's good though. I just find the resolution in the chorus totally unsurprising and unsatisfying. If I weren't a fan, I'd be sort of unswayed, but I am a fan. So woot!
  
• Is It Over - Bluesy-eyed soul at Kris's finest. But again, it sounds like a lot of other bluesy-stuff out there. I can see this being cool in concert, when Kris can play with meter a bit more. But as it is recorded, it's a touch too slow and too measured. Make is more playful.
  
• Bring It Back - Kris channels The Fray. I like it, but this is exactly the kind of song that makes me look forward to what Kris will do on album 2 with more time.
  
• Let It Rain - Cheesy lyrics aside, this is another cool ballad. But some peeps might not be able to get past the cheesy lyrics. Even if you put them aside. Which is weird, since if you put them aside, you should be able to get past them just fine. Huh.
  
• Send Me All Your Angels - Kris channels Daughtry. See BIB, supra.
  

FILLER:

• Can't Stay Away - Kris channels Maroon 5. See BIB and SMAYA, supra. Only less successfully so. Kris being swaggerific isn't all that convincing. I love him, but he's only 4 feet tall. Reminds me too much of all the Napoleon's out there trying to dunk a basketball.
  
• Written All Over My Face - There's something unsatisfying about the melody, the harmony, the way too heavy bass and rhythm, and the lyrics. It's not terrible, like Lifetime, infra, but it just feels all over the place. As if the center won't hold (even though it ultimately does).
  
• Heartless - Ok. I like this version (which critics have compared to Phil Collins's In the Air) much better than the studio version released a couple months ago. It's still not as good as the pure acoustic version Kris sang to get into the finale. Overall, it's just unnecessary (although I guess, if this was the compromise so that No Boundaries was bumped - then I wave the white flag). Especially when EVERYONE is buzzing over the Mat Kearney collab that didn't make the album.
  
• From the Ashes - Another one where I feel like the chorus was an opportunity lost for just the most ear wormy hook. It's nice, but I'm not going to remember it a couple years from now.
  

YUCK:

• Lifetime - Ugh. Don't bother. This is Kris channeling Danny Gokey. I know, RIGHT?
  

Food?!?!?!?!?!?!?

After I watched Super Size Me, I had a craving for McDonald's.

 

After I read Fast Food Nation, I immediately went to Burger King and pigged out.

 

Seeing a pattern?

 

But, well, last night I finished reading In Defense of Food.  Jebus.  I don't want to eat anything now.  This did it for me.  Yeesh.

McEwan.

Recently I finished reading Ian McEwan's First Love, Last Rites. It's one of his earlier writings -- a collection of short stories. The only other thing I've read by him is Atonement, which I thought was near perfect (I wasn't that inspired by the middle section that seemed like a dry description of war -- sort of like running through sand a bit). Yeah, it was sort of abrupt to switch from a refined gem to rough beginnings. Still, it's interesting to see how the two connect -- the writing was good of course, but the dude's got a fascination with the tension between immaturity and sexual adulthood. Wild. I might officially add IMc (J.Lo/A.Rod'ing his name doesn't really work, huh) to the list of authors whose works I'll voluntarily read more than one of.

Sigh, I know. That last sentence was grammatically lazy. I'm too tired to fix it.

Go Watch Conan's Interview of Gabourey Sidibe. It's Awesome.

Although it might not seem like it, I've actually restrained myself from spazzing too much about Kris Allen's debut album coming out tomorrow. Seriously, if you thought this was bad, imagine if I didn't hold myself back, and fully on flailed like I was a 13 year old girl.

Gearing up for my, yes, pre-ordered album, I'm sort of dazzled by all the Kris press going on! There's this article in particks that was awesome. And it's from the AP no less! Weird. I know. Here are some choice quotes:

Since foiling Lambert at the "American Idol" finale last May, the 24-year-old singer-songwriter from Conway, Ark., has not appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine and declared he's gay. His music can't be heard during the credits of the apocalyptic action flick "2012." And you won't find him posing in a racy Details photo shoot with a naked woman.

(Shame. I mean...) Standard intro (although I just read excerpts from Adam's new OUT interview -- as good if not better than his Rolling Stone article). But then this whammy:

Allen is looking forward to touring with his band next year and hopes to keep an Allen family Christmas tradition going strong this holiday. Every year, Allen's mother gives him and his brother, Daniel, a new pair of pajamas and a board game, which they play — no matter how long it takes — before going to bed. He already knows what game he wants this year.

"The new Monopoly with the big towers," he says, his eyes widening. "You can build cities. It's weird."

Seriously. K-Sizzle is the patron saint of beagle puppies. I. Can't. Wait. For. His. Album. And. Tour.

Round Up.

1. I totally remember Harvey, Don, and Bruno from Sesame Street! I wish Don were still around. So what if kids imitated him.

2. Michelle wears 'em. As if I need any justification to wear my awesome bright red Crocs. B____, please.

3. First MTV doesn't have music. Then Syfy trips out on whatever NoCal is serving. And now Cartoon Network no longer is showing just cartoons. TV networks really need to put more thought in their channel names before they commit.

4. Some time back, Planet Money did a piece to assess who might be at fault for the current economic crisis. I happened to find the role that the ratings agencies played in the development of mortgage backed securities particularly persuasive. So it's nice that they got a little spanking. But also, forgive me, though I love my Massachusetts (sniff -- it was a hard weekend -- I converted my license), somehow, I'm not comforted when the raters state that the state bonds are stable.

5. Interesting.

6. Jebus. Fright Night was one of the first movies -- if not THE first movie -- to give me nightmares. Like, friggin' wake-up-in-a-cold-sweat-screaming nightmares. I'll pass, thanks.

My Hope.

My hope is that maybe Ted Mosby's breaking up with Lindsay Price, for whom I have little love [read: none], will get this season of HIMYM back on the track of awesomeness.  The past few weeks of "not-as-good-as-previous-seasons-but-still-far-superior-to-most-crap-on-TV-although-this-season-as-a-whole-has-been-kinda-awesome-*cough*vampirediariescougartownmodernfamilyncisla*cough*.  I mean, she's poison.

 

True story.