WE MADE GAWKER!

A couple days ago, my hometown done waved its DAR-lovin' yes-we-have-a-rod-and-gun-club and yes-we-have-a-prison-too libby 'litest flag. And now Gawker has picked up the story! I'm shedding a tear at the fact that my little haven that's older than the country itself is so trendy.

Bring It On, Says My Town.

1. Weird. So, my nifty little liberally elite hometown out San Francisco-ed Berkeley and Boulder by banning water bottles. That same day, the big Water Main Break of 2010 occurred -- and barely missed Concord. What are the chances?
2. Who would have thunk it that when I disparaged my state for allowing cousins to marry, way back when I was taking Bar/Bri classes, that I'd get a chance to follow up on it. With a map. See southern states? We're not so different.
3. I want to point out that, yes, the Boston accent typically removes the "R." However, linguistics nerds know that the Boston accent will actually insert the "R" back in to places -- and where it gets inserted back actually makes sense. It gets inserted whenever one word ends with a vowel sound and the next one begins with a vowel sound. For example: A good ol' Masshole will say "the idea is great" as "the idear is great." I spent $50k a year for four years to learn that -- in Massachusetts!

I Know, I'm Posting This Late.

[I'm cleaning out my Google Reader starred items. Sue me.]

I didn't watch Jersey Shore, but you BET I would watch Wicked Summer.

Here's what I appreciate from the casting:

• Chicopee shout-out! (Western Mass!)
• Wellesley preps are included. When Slate predicted this, even they acknowledged that Massholes come in more than one variety.
• They dropped "hoagies" from the alleged early draft of the posting.
• "Seeking ages 21-80+"

Hahahahaha.

I love my silly town. Well, sometimes. Liberal, wealthy, elitist, snobby, yadda yadda. This is the sort of stuff that concerns our folks. *Swoon*

I Don't Normally Do This.

I get nervous posting anything too personal or political on my blog. Heck, I get nervous posting anything personal or political here. But I have to link to this story.

It's my high school, man. My town and my state. If I could, I'd attend every single effin' performance to support it.

And to the ignorant d___ who claims that Shakespeare is "uplifting": Are you kidding me? Have you not read Shakespeare? Fratricide? Suicide? Underage love? Cross-dressing? Harry Potter-like magic? Possible antisemitism? Murder? It sickens me when people throw around a defense ignorantly like that.

Lemme Tell You.

Sonic has finally come to Massachusetts. You have no idea how awesome this is. Herewith is a full on analysis:

For some, it was their first time at Sonic after years of seeing the chain's television ads.

Yup. This has been such an effin' tease. They'd advertise and advertise, but we COULDN'T GO TO ONE.

"I am originally from Texas and Sonics were all over the place, so when I found out they were building one in Mass., I was wicked excited,'' said Lundstrom . . . .

Heh. Sounds like Mr. Lundstrom is a full fledged Yankee now.

Krispy Kreme drew hordes of doughnut devotees when it opened in Medford in 2003, but today it has no stores in the state.

Here's the diff: Krispy Kreme sucks. And Dunkin' Donuts is awesome. Ask any New Englander which they prefer. In fact, ask any New Englander what their favorite coffee is. KK had no hope. But there's no local Sonic-like institution in the Northeast. I think they're going to be just fine.

"Oh my God, Sonic is so much better than going to a bar,'' Brockman said.

Sing it.

I Scream.

Obsessed with the awesomeness of ice cream in the Boston-area (my fave, bien sur being Kimball's -- the Carlisle location more specifically -- btw, Carlisle is so tiny it's local newspaper is called the Mosquito -- I know, quaint, right?), Yahoo! just posted a list of top ice cream destinations in the country. Of the 8 on the list, 5--yes 5--are in New England.

Proof positive that frappe isn't "Yankee" for milkshake. Milkshake means there's no G-D ice cream in it. Get it right, America.

It's Amazing Baystaters Aren't Fatter.

More reasons why Massachusetts is kick-awesome (what do you want from me? Kris Allen has revealed in interviews that he was an avid watcher of both Boy Meets World AND Singled Out -- how you all are resisting his charms I just don't know nor do I want to -- yield! YIELD!).

Next Friday is free donut day at Dunkin' Donuts.

And next Saturday is free ice cream day at Friendly's.

Oh you know that's wicked good.

I Really Don't Know When I'm Going To Stop Gushing Over Kris Allen's Win. Sorry.

I sort of love Massachusetts. I don't know if you can tell. And it's rare that I find fault with it. But I'm not one to hide the loose strings on my sweater of state pride. I'll pick at 'em.

One more log to throw on the barbie: that Massachusetts gas stations don't have the catch on gas pumps that let you set it to fill your tank without having to stand there and squeeze the lever. Get with the prog, Mass.

We Bostonians Were a Little More Ballsy in the 1700s.

That didn't last very long.

FYI, it's all extra funny because Jay grew up outside Boston (as did Conan -- and Jimmy likes to pretend he is even though he isn't).