McEwan.

Recently I finished reading Ian McEwan's First Love, Last Rites. It's one of his earlier writings -- a collection of short stories. The only other thing I've read by him is Atonement, which I thought was near perfect (I wasn't that inspired by the middle section that seemed like a dry description of war -- sort of like running through sand a bit). Yeah, it was sort of abrupt to switch from a refined gem to rough beginnings. Still, it's interesting to see how the two connect -- the writing was good of course, but the dude's got a fascination with the tension between immaturity and sexual adulthood. Wild. I might officially add IMc (J.Lo/A.Rod'ing his name doesn't really work, huh) to the list of authors whose works I'll voluntarily read more than one of.

Sigh, I know. That last sentence was grammatically lazy. I'm too tired to fix it.

Baseball Jargon Pet Peeve.

Look, I'm happy, nay, THRILLED that the Red Sox are righting their little post-break slide (freefall?), but the grammar nazi that I am can't help but shudder at the improper use of baseball terminology. Last night, David Ortiz did NOT hit a walk-off homerun to win the game. To do that, there had to have been at least one runner on base (the score was 2-2 before Ortiz came up to bat. The whole idea behind a walk-off is that the hitter doesn't need to cross home plate -- but in this case, Ortiz had to do just that to make the score officially 3-2 for the Boston win.

Late inning heroics are good and all, and Ortiz, steroids or no, is totes clutch, but walk-offs are a unique beast. Close enough is for horseshoes and hand grenades (oopah! I've been waiting--DYING even--to use that in my writing!), not walk-offs.

A Penny for My Thoughts.

I'm not troubled by substitute meat. I get it. I also think it's extra charming that substitute meat names are like porn titles in that they take perfectly pleasant words skew them just so. It's loveable.

But just because they don't contain meat doesn't mean they shouldn't follow common sense. I did some investigating, and Tofurky is apparently pronounced "toe-fur-kee" and not "toe-foor-kee." This means that the "turkey" root of the word is controlling the middle syllable, and not the "tofu" part of the word. And yet... the word isn't spelled "tofurkey."

I accept this choice to refrain from meat. But I draw the line at bad grammar.

American Idol 8: The Top 36.

GAH! I get that American Idol is as much a TV show as it is a singing "competition," so the judges and the producers will choose a combination of singers who get by on merit and so-so singers who get by on telegenic stories. You can just feel the producers slapping each other on the backs for creating the first buzzworthy moment of the season: Tatiana and Norman get through, while Danny and Jamar's bromance comes to an end.*

Yup, a quick run around the 'net (I'm that fast) confirms that this is the case.

So now we have the Top 36, and like season 2, we're gonna get 3 rounds of 12. It's unclear how many from each round will proceed (3? 4? room for a wild card? or a couple?) to the finals. Is it a top 10? Or a top 12? Or something zanier! (like sing-offs!)

But more on that later. I have to get something off my chest. If the two blue-collar workers were the last two to be called to the judges, how did they not count up by that time that only 34 people had been chosen, and that they were both in? How? Someone in that group had to have been keeping track. Sigh. AI thinks it's so clever. You izain't.

Back to the first semis: they are stacked. And I'm not even talking about good singers. I'm talking about personalities that the producers have been pimping out from the beginning. Here's my take:

• Danny Gokey (part 1 of the holy producer trinity) is a shoe-in. Any vote splitting between him and Jamar is yesterday's news, now that they can meld their fanbases into one big shout for second place... er, I mean first ('cuz early favorites like Archie and Tamyra always...).
  
• Anoop Desai. AI's mea culpa for inflicting the pony-hawk on us. You can just imagine some eyebrow threading and a decent 'cut going a long way.
• Michael Sarver. He's the polite teddy bear, a la Ruben, and we know how that turned out. I think he's going to play very well on TV.

I think those three are the ones to beat. But wait, there's more:

• My pick for the XYs is Anne Marie Boskovich. She's a bit too demure and normal, but she's way talented.
• Brent Keith. The dude is hot. It'll be interesting to see if his country-vibe splits votes with Michael, who I think will be more popular by virture of the airtime he's had, but based on looks, Brent has a solid shot.
• Casey Carlson. Gents, google her. You're welcome.
• Tatiana Pukey Puke Puke. Oh man. She's VotefortheWorst catnip. I don't think that website has as much power as it likes to think it does, especially after last year where their "new" choice kept losing (seriously, it's not fair to keep changing the "worst" -- then you're never wrong -- have some balls people and stick with a pony to the end). But in these early rounds where vote concentration matters, she might have a shot.

So the rest don't have a shot. They have had minimal screen time -- although I get the sense that Jackie Tohn or Alexis Grace might be memorable enough to sneak on through if their performances rock.

It's a stacked group. But then, so might be the other groups.

• My guess is that Lil Rounds and Adam Lambert will be spread out to the other two groups (thus completing the trinity, and increasing the producers' chances of getting what they want).
  
• My boy Kris Allen made it (and how awesome was it that (1) he just smirked all cool like in front of the judges but hugged his pappy like there was no tomorrow and that (2) both his results and his end montage were smooshed with Anne Marie's? it's like I'm awesome or something!).
  
• I'm curious how Joanna Pacitti will do. She's controversial, having had a record deal, and oh, you know, forgetting her lyrics in every single song she sang.
• Kristin MacNamara is going to get some sympathy votes for enduring a crap group Simon calling her ugly on national TV.
  
• Matt Giraud is going to do great -- people underestimate how many fans there are of Elliott Yamin-types.
• Jorge Nunez is going to tickle some people -- both in a good way and in a bad way.
  
• And Von? There's something duckie about him. I think it's resonating, despite the crap he belts out.

It's this time of year that I start checking out one particular piece of awesomeness more often, and that's Rickey.org, which, if you can believe it, is more of an AI freak than yours truly.

*According to Grammar Girl, the best person in the world, my usage of the apostrophe is correct here. The bromance is shared by Danny and Jamar, so only one apostrophe is needed. If I were (subjunctive alert!) referring to two different bromances, respectively belonging to Danny and Jamar, then I would have written Danny's and Jamar's bromances. Sigh. Grammar is so sexy.

Happy Christmas, and All That Jazz.

I have a new crush. It's Grammar Girl.

I downloaded her podcast to keep me company on my drive home for the holidays, and I fell head over heels in love.

Something about the 40 year-olds. My law school friends know what I mean. Then throw in impeccable grammar, and I never had a chance. For sure.