Fall Movies 2010

The latest EW has the Fall Movie Preview for 2010.  Whoopee!  I love reading about the movies that I won't have time to see in the theaters and then watch on Netflix a year after everyone else has seen it.  Sigh.  Maybe, just maybe, this time will be different.  Upwards and onwards, I can always hope.

September:

1. Never Let Me Go.  Kazuo Ishiguro's Remains of the Day is one of my favorite novels of all time.  I read When We Were Orphans (I think?) and I can't remember a damn thing about it.  So, yeah, as much as I loved ROTD, I'm not a huge Ishiguro fan.  Despite that, I've been hearing amazing things about the book for NLMG (including the spoiler twist, sadly), and the cast looks amazing.  Say what you will, I like Keira Knightley (girl needs to eat some burgers or five though), and Andrew Garfield (the new Spider-Man) was one of the few good things about The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus (Colin!).  So I'm looking forward to this little filmy a bit, yessiree.
2. Easy A.  The trailer was awesome.  (Then again, the trailer for Pearl Harbor was, too.)
3. Buried.  I like gimmicky B-movies, and nothing screams that more than this one with Ryan Reynolds stuck in a coffin.  It's a tall order to call it Hitchcockian (at least, insofar as the movie posters are concerned), but maybe it'll be good, in a Phone Booth / Rope kind of way?
4. Devil.  I told you, I like gimmicky B-movies.

October:

1. Hereafter.  This is my obligatory I hear Matt Damon movie!
2. RED.  Come on.  Cocoon with guns!  You can just imagine that that was the pitch, too.  But, man, I'm totally sold.

[Editor's note: Wow, October is looking wee---hhheeeeak this year.]

November:

1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I.  It's sad that this is almost the end of the series.  At the same time, I'm not one of those people that want to drag it out as long as possible.  As much as I like the movies, I love the books way more.  It saddened me when I learned that they were splitting the final book into two.  Yes, it's a huge tome, but at the end of the day, the quality of movie adaptations generally increases the less bound to the original the film is.  The best movies of the serious (Azkaban, Phoenix) heavily edited their sources.  I worry that in an effort to capitalize on one of the last guaranteed moneymakers in Hollywood that the filmmakers will end on the same Christopher Columbus rote-note they began on.
2. Morning Glory.  Rachel McAdams needs to be in more movies.
3. 127 Hours.  I went to law school with Aron Ralston's sister.
4. Burlesque.  Christina Aguilera.  Cher.  Singing.  Dancing.  Kristen Bell (finally in a post-Veronica Mars role that doesn't make me want to punch her in the face).  Cam Gigandet.  Shirtless.  How can I not want to see the gayest movie this year?  

December:

1. Black Swan.  Ooh.  I wonder if Darren Aronovsky thought he was going to make the gayest movie of the year when he started this movie about ballerinas and intrigue.  Sucka.
2. TRON: Legacy.  The original, which I heard is terrible, is on my Netflix queue.  Still, I'm a huge nerd.  So I want to see this.

Overall, I gotta say, I'm kinda underwhelmed by the Oscar season offerings this year.  Bet the Academy is wishing it didn't expand the Best Picture field to 10 last year.  Laws, yes (yeah, I just finished reading The Stand, and I don't know yet how I feel about the ending -- I like saying "laws, yes" though).

Apparently, They Keep Making These Things Called "Movies." And I Keep Watching Them. Or At Least Having Opinions About Them.

1. Truth be told, Easy A the movie looks terrible. A teen Scarlet Letter? Isn't that, like, an oxy moron? Still, the teaser trailer for it might be one of the best teasers I've seen in a long, long time:



2. Is it okay if I admit that I didn't like The Dark Crystal? I adore the Muppets and Labyrinth, but come on peeps, rose-colored glasses much with TDC? So, "highly anticipated" sequel? Meh.

3. Oh Colin. I love you. Even if it took some people a long time to come around. I've always known you are an awesome actor. And I get the desire to broaden your horizons -- so a romcom? Okay. But a sidekick in a romcom? B____, please. You're better than that. Why not do what you're doing with the whole vampire craze, and be the lead hot thing? That's way more worth your time. (Side note: Fright Night freaked the f___ out of me growing up. Dude. I was six when I saw it.) To conclude, I can't wait for Ondine, which you can apparently already view on demand -- uh, that's weird. Because it's not even in theaters yet.

Cleaning Up House, Part Quatre.

1. Call me a sucker for obvious statements, but this l'il vid came to my attention a few months back when Jeremy Renner was relevant for one shining moment and when Sandra Bullock's life was perfect. It makes fun of Hollywood -- and also make me cringe at hoe formulaic Hollywood really is:

2. Speaking of cringing at Hollywood. I sort of miss him as an action star:



3. So despite all that, again, I'm nuts I guess because I sort of think this would be a fantastic movie:

I'm Going To Try And Watch Movies.

Despite the fact that I really have no personal time in which to go to the theatah -- I'm looking forward to the summer anyway. The spring movie season is usually pretty terrible because studios tend to dump their bad movies then. Summer -- you get the big shooty flix, which then ease into the fall prestige films. Thank goodness it's about that time! Anyhoo, as I did last year, I perused the EW summer preview and here's what, in a perfect world, I'd watch (and what would be good movies -- even though at least half if not more will suck).

MAY

• Iron Man 2 (5/7). I still don't really understand why they had to replace Terrence Howard. Still, RDJ in that cobalt blue racing suit redefines dashing. Yowsa.
• Robin Hood (5/14). Is it weird that Hollywood still can't find a modern English actor to play RH other than Cary Elwes? Meh, I think that Cate Blanchett as Marion is inspired (I'd almost rather it be from her POV) and bows and arrows are cool, so, yah.
• Prince of Persia (5/28). If, IF, this turns out to be a Pirates of the Caribbean-type adventure, I'm in. If it turns out to be a Tomb Raider type dud, then I'm out.
• Micmacs (5/28). Jean-Pierre Jeunet goes all mimsy on us borogroves!

JUNE

• Ondine (6/4). Colin Farrell is my favorite actor. And he knocked up his leading lady. So yah, amusing.
• Toy Story 3 (6/18). Because I have a pulse.
• Knight and Day (6/25). Because despite Tom Cruise's brainwashing of Katie Holmes, he's still a movie star who makes awesome movies. And the trailer made me laugh. And I don't even think the trailer gave away the whole movie! (See MIB as a horrible example of the latter.)

JULY

• The Last Airbender (7/2). You have no idea how anxious I am about this one. If you don't know, Avatar: The Last Airbender, was this amazing cartoon on Nickelodeon -- incredibly mature concept that nerds like me can appreciate, but fun and light for the young'ns. When I heard they were making this live action, I... was excited. And then I heard that M. Night Shyamalaladingdong was directing, I... threw up a little in my mouth. And then when I heard that he didn't cast ANY Asian leads, I got pissed (he's since put in what's his name from Slumdog instead of JESSE FRIGGIN MCCARTNEY). This is definitely one of those movies where I'm not sure that getting what I wished for (a live-action version) is all that it's cracked up to be.
• Inception (7/16). Even though it has a crappy title, this is Christopher Nolan doing his Memento thang. You bet I want to see this.
• The Sorcerer's Apprentice (7/16). God help me. I hate both of the "stars" but I'm a fantasy-junkie.
• Kisses (7/16). Yeah, yeah, I have a weird thing for Irish-themed films.
• Dinner for Schmucks (7/23). Predictable premise. But it's hard for me not to want to see Paul Rudd in a movie. Just impossible. He. Has. Tiny. Arms.
• Salt (7/23). Because Angelina Jolie kicking ass is bliss.
• The Adjustment Bureau (7/30). I don't really understand what it's about, but hey, I always like to put Matt Damon's movies on my To See list and then inevitably not be able to see them in the theaters because I'm too busy. Sigh.

AUGUST

• Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (8/13). Dude. Awesome premise.

Up in the Awesome.

I saw Up in the Air yesterday, which has been quietly, but steadily, building Oscar buzz in a year that has already seen one contender fizzle (by Amelia), another contender get pushed back (so long Shutter Island), and Mo'Nique bring forth one of the most searing performances in recent memory.

I'm not good at reviewing movies without spoiling them, so fair warning.

George Clooney plays a contractor sent to various cities to handle reductions in force in all sorts of companies. Yeah, so they like the recession. Movies that come this close to current politics (especially war movies) don't do well. In tough times, people like going to the movies for escape -- and for cheap entertainment. (Although, remember how I saw a movie in NYC over the holiday? Watching movies ain't cheap ovah thar.) But, oh, this movie is good. I guess, because it lives within the context of the current recession without directly commenting on it. We just happen to have a front row seat because the movie chooses as its protagonist someone who is literally on the front lines of Main Street's stroke.

That's pretty surprising in itself. This is show-don't-tell at its best. And by avoiding any final moralizing, Jason Reitman nicely lets each of the characters live their lives. They don't all have perfect little lessons learned. They just live in this snow globe that Wall Street grabbed and shook like an au pair (<---too soon?). George Clooney's character doesn't get ironically downsized, and his character hasn't been harboring some cancer that he uses as a crutch to avoid engaging with people. They make choices -- and those choices have consequences. And they react to those consequences like real people. (BTW, trivia fact -- some of the firings that occur are of real people actually getting fired -- or something like that -- Google it.) It's strange that something so mundane as this should be a compliment -- but it's all too rare in movies.

On top of all this, you have amazing acting (Anna Kendrick and Vera Farmiga, especially Vera, are amazing). FYI, Vera plays a 34 year old in the movie, looks 40, but is 36 in real life. She's basically a Mona Lisa. Gorgeous, in an untraditional way, and in a way that changes depending on which POV you use. FYI2, George Clooney only does one Dr. Ross head-bob in this, and you know what? It's well-earned. George plays a character that is uncomfortably close to his real life persona, with an emphasis on the shallowness and waste that potentially goes with that kind of life (see Julia Roberts in Notting Hill or Gabourey Sidibe in Precious as other fine examples of this). To me, that's a far riskier type of role than "looking ugly" (big whoop Nicole and Charlize). The inside-ugly is always worse. Way worse. (BTWs, George's lazy eyes are even farther apart than normal here. Uh... creepy.)

Final thought, (well, final big thought -- because I'm realizing that the central romance here has a lot of similarities to (500) Days of Summer -- another goodie from this year), is the movie's ruminations on loyalty. It's a nice irony that George's character is insanely loyal to Hertz, American Airlines, and Hilton (btw, niiiiice product placement -- better than Sony's in 2012), but hasn't figured out what that kind of loyalty could mean to him personally -- or what his role is in the "loyalty" of a company to its employees. I haven't fully figured this one out, but it totally got me thinking. And THAT is the best compliment I can give a movie.

Okay, if you still don't mind having the movie spoiled, I'm about to talk about the ending:

P.S. My one beef with the movie -- dump the final voice-over. The movie should have left it unclear as to what George was going to do at the Big Departure board. The VO suggests too much. It's American Beauty all over again. And not in a good way.

Reva, Adam, and I Pretty Much Talk About PC All The Time.

Adam had a fun post where he actually, you know, self-assessed his summer movie preview. Sheesh. So, like, I don't know, business-worldy grown-up of him! Thought it might be fun, so here I go looking back with 20-20 h.s. and all that jazz at what I was looking forward to this past summer for box office bliss.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Will have to catch up on blu-ray.
Star Trek. Amazing. Including the mole below Chris Pine's ear.
Brothers Bloom. Sigh, there just aren't enough convenient indie theaters in D.C.
Angels & Demons. A victim of bad buzz. I'm sure I'll catch it on TNT some time.
Up. Pixar goes 634,293 for 634,293. I mean, seriously.
The Hangover. Heh.
Year One. Huge disappointment. This should have been like Stewie among typical babies, and it was more like crap among crap.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Things go boom, and I missed it somehow.
Bruno. A victim of bad buzz.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.
Funny People. Never saw it. Prolly still will at some point.
Paper Heart. Why did I ever think I'd want to see this?
G.I.Joe: Rise of Cobra. I'll still see it, but I've heard that Sienna Miller ruins yet another movie.
The Time-Traveler's Wife. A victim of bad buzz.
Inglourious Basterds. There's still time, right? I'll go see it, I swair!

Even When He's Bad, He's Good.

My friends and I sort of worship Neil Patrick Harris. He's Dr. Evil for Pete's sake! And Barney Stinson! And Doogie ! And the list just goes on. (FYI, I totally saw him in Proof opposite Anne Heche on Broadway. And I ate dinner two tables away from him at the Gramercy Tavern in NYC.)

It came to my attention that NPH auditioned for the role of Dr. Tam on Firefly, which role he didn't get. Sean Maher got it instead. Which made it possible for one Zacquisha (because he actually can pass for a young Sean Maher) to get his first onscreen role as the young Dr. Tam, thereby fulfilling a geektastic degree of separation between him the Whedonverse.

It's crap like this that makes me happy.

Running Down Fall Movies.

It's that time again! Except it's fall, not summer, and now the source of my confusion is that December is somehow in the fall, just like May was in summer. Anyhoo, I've finally gotten a chance to thumb through EW's double ish that previews all the movies that are fit to print--or release during Oscar season. Here's a month by month of what I'm most looking forward to:

In September:

• 9 (9/9). Dude, I totally just got that marketing! A bizarro post-apocalyptic CGI movie that totes makes me geek out. Shut up. It looks awesome.
• The Informant! (9/18). I remember that episode where Dawson said he was going through a "Steven Soderbergh" phase. That was when Erin Brockovich, Traffic, and Ocean's 11 came out. Since then? Yeah, not so much. But this has Matt Damon. And I love his hair. So I'll go see this.
• Fame (9/25). Done and done. And done.
  

In October:

• Toy Story 1 and 2... in 3D! (10/2). Pixar is re-releasing awesomeness into the world, but this time in 3-D. I don't know if I'll be able to help myself. Why resist?
  
• Whip It (10/9). I don't get why roller derby is a women's sport. Regardless, I have a weird fascination with it. So yeah, I'm down, even if Drew Barrymore directed it.
• The Road (10/16). The first real "prestige" movie that I might want to see. I haven't read the book yet, but I plan to before hand. Sounds like a real pick-me-up.
• Mary and Max (TBA). In the grand tradition of 9 (hmm... is a month long enough for a tradition?), this is another animated film for growed-ups. You know, us soulless ratracers. I just saw the trailer online, and you've got my curiosity piqued.

In November: (Here's where it gets brutal. Somehow, I'm going to have to not work, not sleep, and not eat to fit these all in.)

• The Box (11/6). A Twilight Zone episode played out with a movie budget and length.
• Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire (11/6). I've heard nothing but raves since Sundance about this movie about puppies and piglets and pandas and peaches and . . . Mariah Carey without makeup . . . and Mo'Nique being an Oscar contender. Oh, honey, just imagine her acceptance speech.
  
• Fantastic Mr. Fox (11/13). So, everyone I know is obsessed with Where the Wild Things Are -- and granted, the trailer looks surreally good. But I was never into the book as a child. But FMF was one of those books that I read and re-read so many times that I had memorized the feel and smell of the library book copy that I kept checking out. I can still picture what it looks like right now. So yeah, color me psyched -- but cautiously so. I hate Wes Anderson's directing style (oh look! I'll frame everything in the center of the screen head on! I'm so avant-garde and unique!).
• Broken Embraces (11/20). I'm not sure if I'll see this in the theaters, but Pedro Almodovar has allowed me to not only forgive Penelope Duckface Cruz, but to actually like her as an actress.
• Nine (11/25). I like musicals. Sue me. And then I'll counter-sue you because I'm a lawyer, and that's how I roll.
• The Princess and the Frog (11/25). You have no idea how happy I am that Disney is remembering that it's not the CGI of Pixar that makes their movies awesome -- it's the awesome stories they tell. And hey! Disney used to do that! In hand-drawn animation! I have every finger crossed that this is a success and starts another age--the platinum age maybe? (Pinocchio-ish era = Golden Age; Lion King-ish era = Silver Age)--of Disney animation.
• Me and Orson Welles (11/25). Shut up. I liked 17 Again.

In December:

• Avatar (12/18). James Cameron makes about 1 movie every 52 years. And they usually are fancy.
• Tree of Life (12/25). Pro? Brad Pitt. Con? I still haven't finished Terence Malick's The New World--and that starred Colin Farrell, whom I love more than Kris Allen. I'll wait for the gasps to subside before I continue with...
  
• Sherlock Holmes (12/25). You have no idea how much I want to see this.

Most anticipated: Sherlock Holmes. RDJ and Rachel McAdams on full-on charm-mode. *blush*

The big movies I'm so-so on: New Moon (People, Twilight was terrible); Shutter Island (I'm not a Scorcese acolyte); Where the Wild Things Are (Meh); The Lovely Bones (How this was ever a best seller -- ugh -- I listened to it as a book on tape driving from Durham to Boston and back -- and was vachement unimpressed).

I Totally Wanted To Go To SpaceCamp.

So today, Mental Floss had a quiz (it has two daily quizzes -- one at lunch and one at 5pm) where you had to name the 80s movie whose plot was described. I did terribly, but one that I totally rocked was the plot for SpaceCamp. In its commentary (see, it likes to learn you stuph, not just chuck trivia bits at your gaping maw), it noted the ridick cast of the movie. So I took a gander, as I have a tendency to do, and just look at this lineup (courtesy of imdb, bien sur)!

Kate Capshaw	...	Andie Bergstrom
Lea Thompson	...	Kathryn Fairly
Kelly Preston	...	Tish Ambrosei
Larry B. Scott	...	Rudy Tyler
Joaquin Phoenix	...	Max (as Leaf Phoenix)
Tate Donovan	...	Kevin Donaldson
Tom Skerritt	...	Cmdr. Zach Bergstrom (Andie's husband)
Barry Primus	...	Brennan
Terry O'Quinn	...	Launch Director

First, you might ask: who the hell is Larry B. Scott? Lamar from Revenge of the Nerds!

Second, I don't know who Barry Primus is. But one of his credits is in some masterpiece called "Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death," which starred a youngish (well, 33 yo) BILL MAHER.

Good gravy! So yeah, Lar and Bar totes belong in the company of Spielberg's wife, Caroline in the City, Travolta's beard, Academy Award nominee, Marisa's Daddy/Joshwah, Picket Fences Guy, and One of the Worst Written Characters on Lost.

Who am I kidding. I started out this post wanting to rave about the awesomeness of SpaceCamp--a movie whose bril formula is essentially copied in cinematic gems such as G.I.Jane, which stars Demi Moore's right bicep--but really, I just want to watch CWINAJOD.

Zooey and Joe.

I'm not going to lie, I'm one of those people who sighed with a smile at the end of the (500) Days of Summer. (Some robots groaned.)

It's worth chattin' about again because I can't get it out of my head, which is always a sign that I particularly enjoyed a movie. And then lo and behold, my friend ***Elizabeth*** pointed me to this piece of awesomeness:



Apparently, Zooey and Joe are planning on Tom/Meg and Tracy/Hepburn their way into our hearts. I'm already there. This music vid only dusted off the welcome mat one more time.

And while we're on the topic, I'm going to take issue with Ezra Klein's "review" that Adam agreed with. It looked to me like Ezzy found a disconnect between the marketing of the movie and the movie itself. But so what? I'd think that most saavy viewers would immediately skepticize any sort of studio marketing of a movie. Taken on its own, however, (500) Days of Summer totally owns what it purports to be: a story about love and NOT a love story.

I Just Can't Get Enough.

I love finding out about old roles of current actors. I still am was a wannabe in my present a former life, so I guess I find something so fascinating about people who've managed to navigate C-movies into fairly decent acting careers.

Case in point: Lambada, which I have never seen (dare I?) was on TV the other day. Apparently, it's such a bad movie that Comcast, it its onscreen directory described it as having a "lame plot." That's like the bus driver telling partiers at a destination that the people he just transported are lawyers. But apparently it starred Michael Scott's one-time paramour Melora Hardin! I was actually more excited at first when I thought it starred Melora Walters, the best thing about Magnolia. (And that's not faint praise, I actually love that movie. I've pulled out the "I'm quietly judging you" line a lot recently. It's handy.)

Another example: Hot Dog... the Movie!, which is so ridiculously offensive (she's supposedly 17 years old) included James Saito, who most recently was on Eli Stone, which was one of those shows like Pushing Daisies that was cancelled because ABC hates baby pandas and piglets.

A Couple Movie Things.

• Zacquisha's first screen role was in Joss Whedon's Firefly? Oh, you betcha. That's wicked.
• Willow is Professor Flitwick! I had no idea. Righteous! (He was also an Ewok and the Leprechaun!!! Calling Jennifer Aniston!)
  
• I'm sort of intrigued by what seems to be a revival of slasher movies with established actors. There was Vacancy with Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson a couple years ago. Then there was The Strangers with Scott Speedman (he whispers so well) and Liv Tyler last year. And now Steve Zahn, Milla Jovavich, and Timonthy Olyphant are going to be in something called A Perfect Getaway this year. I don't have anything deep and meaningful to say about this. Just brain dumping a bit.
  

It Sucks. Literally.

When comparing a "rivalry" (Federer v. Nadal, Kris v. Adam, Old school Simpsons v. New school Simpsons, etc.), I'm usually not one to diss the other half. Hey, I'm judicious. Even if I like one better than the other, that doesn't mean the other thing isn't cool.

Except for Twilight. Last week, I went to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. While waiting in line (I was an hour and a half early, natch), I nerded out with the people behind me by trashing Twilight. Because Twilight is awful. Just awful.

In other movie news:

-The trailer for Percy Jackson got ridick applause. That made me feel old.
-I applauded after the trailer for Sherlock Holmes. I'm pretty sure that RDJ heard my clapping.
-I also saw (500) Days of Summer over the weekend, which was effin' bril. But this couple in the row in front of me wouldn't stop sucking face. It doesn't really bother me except for the fact that they were sitting in really choice seats in the theater. You know, a couple rows up the stadium, smack dab in the middle. Don't hog the good seats and then not watch the movie. Vachement, uncouth.

Oh No!

Don't die, Ron Weasley! Harry Potter needs you!

Celebrities.

Adam called it. Michael Jackson died today. It's just terrible that one of my first thoughts when I heard this was "what part of him is still alive?" Yeah, I'm going to hell.

In completely unrelated news, one of my favorite movies of all time, Go, was on TV tonight, and it occurred to me -- holy carp, Scott Wolf is 41 years old.

Happy Birthday, Colin.

I Can't Figure This Out.

So, in the movie Doubt (or the play -- if that's what you're familiar with), is there some meaning to the priest liking to keep his fingernails on the long side? I'm way fastidious about teeth and fingernails, so this is really nagging me. You know, cuz it's gross. Well, also what he's accused of. But you knew that.

Explain This, Too.

As I was troubled by Aladdin, I also have found something troubling in Beauty in the Beast. Is Mrs. Potts the mother of Chip? He calls her "Mama." I've never heard of someone calling their grandmother that. How old is she?

Law recognizes the fertile octogenarian, but this is ridiculous, no? Go to minute 4:00 and see for yourself.

Summah, Summah, Summah Time. Starts in May Somehow.

The summer starts in early May, sayeth Hollywoods. And thus come forth summer movies! Oh, I'm all snobby and stuff about filmsmovies, but I'm also American enough to like things that go boom and things that cut the cheese (if this were Family Guy or Scrubs, we'd have a quick little montage with Dick Clark and the bonus round of the $25,000 Pyramid). Thanks to my trusty EW, whose latest ish runs down this upcoming season's offerings, here's what I'm look a-forwards to.

In May:

1. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (5/1). I have this theory about men: some men collected baseball cards as kids, and other men collected comic books. As adults, you can usually tell the difference. I'm the latter. And the chance to see Gambit, er, Wolverine on screen again is so fetch.
2. Star Trek (5/8). I hate Star Trek. But, man, does J.J. Abrams make this reboot look awesome. Plus, it's hard to not support the patron saint of Korean actors, John Cho (although the second Harold and Kumar is a fairly convincing counter-argument).
3. Brothers Bloom(5/15). This con artist movie has been delayed several times now, which is usually a sure-fire indicator that it's going to smell like armpits. Which is too bad because I'm a huge Mark Ruffalo fan, and I heart con flicks.
4. Angels & Demons (5/15). They gave Tom Hanks a haircut. I'm so there.
5. Up (5/29). When "Cars" or "A Bug's Life" is your answer to naming the worst Pixar movie to date, then Pixar could make a movie about armpits for all I care. I'd see it. In 3-D.

June

1. The Hangover (6/5). Adam says the advance buzz on this is like bunnies covered in honey. Also, I can't believe that Ed Helms was only born in 1974.
   
2. Year One (6/19). Michael Cera and Jack Black as anachronistically aware cavemen traveling the Book of Genesis. Game. Set. Match.
   
3. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (6/24). Shia Laboeuf, aka the next Tom Hanks and not Jim, needs to stop slicking back his hair like a douche. But things go bang. Wheeeeee!

July

1. Bruno (7/10). Heh. I'm so nervous about what will occur in the movie. Good nervous. But nervous.
   
2. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (7/15). Because Harry Potter is legen--wait for it---kick-awesome.
   
3. Funny People (7/31). A Judd Apatow movie that's actually directed by Judd Apatow!
   

August

1. Paper Heart (8/7). I noted somewhere earlier in my blog that I love Michael Cera, but I worry that he might now have much range. That being said, I have not yet grown tired of this pony's one trick, and I love that he has been given a Paul Giamatti-ticket of unlikely leading man status. I'm supporting him till the well runs dry, if ever.
   
2. G.I.Joe: Rise of Cobra (8/7). As my brother implored, please don't eff up this all-too important childhood memory. It's bad enough that Sienna Miller, aka poster child for famous-for-no-good-reason-I-hate-her-guts-I-know-that's-shallow-but-I-can't-help-it celebrities, is in it. I'd forgive them in a heart-murmur for that gaffe if they have the Joes and Cobra shoot different colors (was G.I.Joe red and cobra blue or vv?).
   
3. The Time-Traveler's Wife (8/14). Rachel McAdams is a stunning, natural actress. One of my faves.
   
4. Inglourious Basterds (8/21). Heehee, QT is all like "yo! I don't follow moviemaking rules, so me not going to follow grammar and spelling rules neitherz!" Whatevs. I can unspool from my Grammar Girl worship for two hours to watch some QT awesomeness.
   

Most anticipated: Up and Harry Potter. (Natch. You didn't think I'd actually grow up between the end of American Idol and the beginning of the summer season despite, *shudder* the big 3-0 occuring therein?)

The other big shooty movies that are coming out, but that I'm totes apathetic towards: Terminator Salvation (I'm not a Christian Bale fan, and there have been too many Terminator stuff, bad stuff, lately); Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (I'll catch it on Netflix); Public Enemies (meh); Julie and Julia (I love that Meryl headlines summer movies, but I'm not feeling this one.

I Extend EW's Readership by Ten... People.

EW.com had a tribute to Paul Rudd, the awesomest normal white guy ever, by pulling this gem out of the before-they-were-stars attic:



Ah, ah, ah, en francais!