American Idol: Mary J. Is Wacky.

Last night the audition rounds continued on in Atlanta, which if you've ever been, has a fireworks display when the Braves play that takes place right beside the highway.  So you'll drive along, and then hear a sudden explosion.  Yeah.  Someone should have thought that one through a little better.  (I'm not saying Boston was necessarily planned out better -- it is after all a series of paved cowpaths with four different Washington Streets.  Seriously.)

 

Not much to write about here other than how utterly charming Mary J. Blige is.  She carries herself (and deservedly so) like a queen amongst plebs sometimes -- which I don't blame her -- if you have a raw voice as strong as hers, you'd be requiring three feet of personal space at all times too.  But last night, as she learned how brutal judging idiots can be, she could simply not hold back laughing at the riffraff that comes through the doors.  In her all too natural and unfiltered reactions, you could see just why people like Simon is bitter and why people like Randy must shut off all their brain cells to be able to make it through a day of "discovering" talent.  (Yah, I purposely quotationed that word.) 

 

Also though, if you have Mary J. laughing at you, you know you suck.

 

The only person I liked from last night was the Guitar Girl.  She did what she had to do to get on the show (not everyone can be hawt like Kris Allen), and she had he voice to back it up.  I like it.  I'll be rooting for her (although I feel like she's going to be the next Scooter Girl -- AI fans know what I mean).

 

Til next week when we visit Chicago, and we wonder why, with all the millions of dollars that Simon makes, he never has a good haircut.

 

P.S. The worst thing about the auditions?  When Randy says crap like "3 hundred billion gajillion percent yes!"

KINDLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, for Christmas, my brother gave me a Kindle, which, quite frankly, might be the awesomest gizmo that I've had in a long, long time. We're talking iPod-esque in the geeky bliss that it gives me.

You see, I have this ridiculous addiction to buying books -- I go to bookstores, browse for half a day, buy two books, and then only read one. I do this over and over, in part because I think I'll get to that other book eventually and that owning it will encourage me to read it, and because I'm obsessed with showing off that I read whenever company comes over. I mean really, don't you secretly scan the bookshelves whenever you go to someone's house or apartment? And even though you "claim" that you are just seeing if you've read anything in common, you're really judging their taste and intellect.

Well, so along with this terribly expensive habit is the fact that I'm always reading about 3 to 5 books at one time. I'm just unable to read a book from beginning to end without wondering what else I might be missing. So the Kindle is PERFECTION for me (other than the whole making book-buying available wherever I go -- it's like giving a smoker a magically-refilling-cigarette pack).

There's a lot of hubbub about the death of the printed page because of this whole e-reader thing, and I get that. But I actually think that the move to electronic books is both necessary and good. For example, it obviously helps lower the entrance barrier for new writers trying to break into the industry. It also will help save paper (really, as much as I like Harry Potter, I'm pretty sure that the number of trees that had to die to allow the world to know what would become of Harry et al might be more horrifying than the way than the way Crabbe died -- seriously, think about how J.K. killed off that dude). But most importantly, I don't like this whole "out-of-print" thing that happens with old books. There's a whole bunch of good crap out there that have since fallen out of popularity, but still deserve to be read once in a while. And as the archives of literature inevitably continues to overflow, we need to be able to keep that stuff around. It only makes sense that e-reading should eventually become the norm.

Yes, I like the smell of books, the feel of real pages, and the overwhelming sense of self-importance that I get when I read snooty literary fiction out in public (oh man, I needed a second seat on the bus just for my ego when I was reading The Age of Innocence), but even I think that the Kindle is where it's at. True story.

This. Is. American. Idol. SEASON 9 (i.e. the last season worth anything).

Because by now everyone knows that this is Simon's last season of AI.  Although I hated how last season too much focus was on the judges, I really meant that too much focus was on Paula, Randy, and whats-her-name with the buckteeth, hot bod, and "sweetie" complex.  The show without Simon is just... America's Got Talent.

 

FYI, my computer blew up a couple days ago, so blogging is going to be difficult for the time being.  I've got a couple posts in the pipeline already scheduled to post over the next few days, but as for au courant commentary (because I know that's what you all really want, and not mere Kris Allen adulation), we'll be a bit touch-and-go until I get a Mac.  I'm not waiting for a iSlate or iTablet or whatever they're calling it, but I am just waiting to see if they are going to upgrade any of the Pros on January 26.

 

Speaking of Kris Allen, I mean, AI9, the first round of auditions took place last night in Boston (woot!).  Here's my quick take:

• No one really impressed me.
• The girl from Billerica pronounced the "e" in the middle.  Wow.  Shibboleth alert!!!
• Yeah, we have Codzilla, so what?
• Justin Williams might have moved to SLC and beaten cancer... but we've seen him before.  He was in White Chocolate, which was the group that Matt Giraud and Kris Allen were in during the group performances last season in Hollywood.  He wasn't good then, and he isn't good now.  Kris's sweater during that perf, on the other hand?  To die for.  (Seriously, I wrote in to EW's style watch for help finding it... no dice.)
• There's got to be more botulism in Posh's face than in a bag of spinach.  Egads.
• Kris Allen's new Ford commercial doesn't make me want to buy a new Ford, but it does make me want to hug Kris Allen.
• It's probably just me, but every single contestant shown last night have f---ed up teeth.
• Okay, I lied.  There is one dude who I remembered -- the lanky Jim Morrison dude who broke his wrists.  Funny dude.

Even Though Christmas Is Over, I Want These Things:

1. I didn't think Snuggies were worth it, until NOW.

2. Best Week Ever pointed this out to me. They are making fun of the products, but somehow, I actually think this would be useful:



Obviously, not as earthshattering as #2 or #4 on that list, but close.

3. And not something I still want, but Jim Cantiello of MTV (whom I adore because he's insane, does the best American Idol recaps this side of Michael Slezak, and unabashedly stalks loves Kris Allen like I do) wished for this this past Christmas. I can proudly say, I had it



Hey, if Jim is going to point out how he gets to hang out with Kris all the time, then I'm going to point out that Santa thought I was a better kid than Jim growing up. I don't think Santa could see inner pettiness back then. Eat my shorts, Jim.

Avoid Politics.

I tell myself not to write about politics in my blog because I'm avoiding anything potentially controversial that could affect my professional life.   But every so often, something big enough happens that I can't ignore.

 

Though I consider myself a good ol' Massachusetts boy, I'm fully well expecting that our governor next year will be a Republican.  This really isn't a surprise.  The four governors preceding Deval Patrick were all Reps, and several were exceptional (I'm looking at you Mr. Weld and, sigh, I guess, Mr. Romney, before you went all batsh-t crazy throwing us under the bus to forward your national aspirations).  It's simply true that statewide concerns differ from national concerns, so anyone who thinks that it's a shocker that this is bound to happen in the bluest state this side of Vermont is stupid.  It's not a referendum on Barack Obama.  It IS a referendum on Patrick: he has absolutely sucked as a governor.  (Don't believe me?  Look at the Rep frontrunner -- his running mate is openly gay.  Lolz - where else?  I love my state.)  None of this is news.

 

What is news is the special election for Ted Kennedy's senate seat taking place next week.  The presumptive winner (not just democratic nominee), Martha Coakley, has run what has quite possibly been the worst, most naive, and all-and-out dumbest political campaign I've seen in a long time.  She simply assumed that her relatively good name recognition and the little "(D)" next to her name would be enough.  This may be Massachusetts, but Martha, you are no Kennedy, and that's what Massholes blindly follow.  To wit, Scott Brown, a state senator (what is with these state senators shakin' up national politics? hi Mr. Obama!), is neck-and-neck with her with one week to go.  Seriously.  And Brown is no ordinary Rep -- he'd be considered Republican OUTSIDE of Massachusetts!  AAAHHH!!! 

 

So what does Martha do?  She went negative (which is bad enough because it reeks of desparation), but even worse . . .

 

SHE MISSPELLED MASSACHUSETTS IN THE AD.

 

Oy.  At least American Idol 9 starts tonight.  I need something to calm my nerves.

2009 Top 40 Music, In A Nut. And a Panda.

Sweet.

And for no reason other than adorableness. A panda escaping:

Don't Call Them Puppets.

Even though I haven't been blogging, I still boogie-board the interwebs and bookmark things I like. So I've got a backlog of crap that I'm going to post. Consider it my way of being fashionably late (i.e. Korean time) to the pop pulse party. First, the Muppets have been particularly awesome this holiday season:

1. Classic movies, reimagined. I think Face/Lift is especially inspired.

2. Awesome vid #1 - Ringing of the Bells:



3. Awesome vid #2 - The Gang helps Jimmy sing the 12 Days:



I heart Fozzie.

4. Outtakes from the 12 Days:



5. And, of course, this (with Kermit's commentary):