AI9: The Top 8 Girls, Or How We're So Close To The Finals, Where People Are Good? Yeah. Right.

First week, I was 2 for 4 for my predictions. Last week, I was 4 for 4 (even I was kinda surprised at how I did). How will this week go?

1. Katie Stevens. Again, why would you ever sing a Kelly Clarkson song? You're just asking to be compared unfavorably to one of the best Idols ever. Plus, you know, she is more off-pitch than an old fart throwing out the first ball in the World Series. That. Was. Horrible.

2. Siobhan Magnus. I pronounce her name as Sy-o-ban. Magneto is pulling out an oldie -- with an a capella opening! Dope is right, Randy! Ugh, I just agreed with Randy. I have to admit, chillz, from the slow-talker. I'm a fan. That was really, really good. The nicest thing I can say is that I actually want to hear what the judges have to say. Except Simon is wrong. I just agreed with Randy over Simon. I'm getting sick.

3. Lacey Brown. She's totally singing on borrowed time. If you can call it singing. But, you know, this song fits her voice really well -- and the warble warble of her vibrato actually kinda works her. That was cute. Not great -- but cute. She's been sucking hard -- I don't know if this was enough to overcome her slow start.

4. Katelyn Epperly. I hate this song. I also am hating her hair. She's got this amazing Felicity type bob of curls, and she seems like she's Drew Barrymore-ing it every performance. I do like the little hitch in her voice though. But, yeah, I hate this song, and it totally does not work for her.

SB: I like these Kris Allen commercials - but it does remind me that (a) he needs his second single to be released and (b) his tour is shaping up -- and it's all crap! Nothing in the DC area!

5. Didi Benami. Wow. We really have no big voiced divas this season. There are a bunch of soulful folk singers though -- Didi, Lily, Crystal. Lacey and Katelyn to some extent. It sort of makes me fall asleep.

6. Paige Miles. Probably the closest this season has to a power singer. Yikes, she's singing this song like she's ready to cut herself. It's all over the place -- she's singing like Jessica Simpson looking for a clue. Never quite there, although the effort is there. Sort of. Oh, I can't take it. And the last note just nailed her coffin shut.

7. Bowersox!!! Ooh, she's doing Tracy Chapman. I never thought about it before -- but this is absotively perfect for her. Every time she sings during this dreadful season (yes, I just pulled a Simon and said dreadful), it's like taking Whitestrips to Crystal's teeth. Just clears it all up. SO GOOD! That last little run was like so awesomely melisma, without being melismatic. I would love to see her sing Fast Car. She even has the name of someone who's a star!

8. Lily Scott. Doing Patsy Cline. REALLY? Jebus, we really are in American Idol: A Mighty Wind. I mean, I like it and all, but it's weird -- I just don't know how the contestants are going to be able to adapt to all the different styles of the finals.

BEST: Bowersox. Siobhan. (I feel like this is going to be a recurring thing.)

WORST: Paige. Katie.

GOING HOME: Paige . . . and um . . . it's either Katie or Lacey. Let's go with Paige and Katie. I think that Lacey is going to overstay her welcome for a few weeks in the finals.