Saturday, May 1, 2010

Checking in With Far Too Many Reality Shows.

TOP CHEF MASTERS
Rick Moonen is coming off as unlikeable as the d-bag from Zaytinya.  This week's Top Chef Masters with the Modern Family cast sucked.  Why?  Because there was a commercial previewing the champions round halfway through the episode that gave away that Susur was going to win.  I don't feel bad "spoiling" that for DVR people because Bravo is going to spoil it for you anyway.  At the same time, dude's name is Susur.  Awesome.
 
AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL
I've been to that extinct volcano in New Zealand that they started off at on this week's ANTM.  Woot!  It reminded me of the time that The Amazing Race had a challenge involving the tanneries in Fez, Morocco--which I've also been to.  FYI, I don't know where Krista was for the first half of the season, but she's kinda owning ANTM now.  I want her to win and for Angelea to go down in flames.
 
AMERICAN IDOL
America, you kicked off Siobhan?  Ugh.  It's not like a care that it's a sausagefest on AI.  I care that you've kicked off all the good--or at least interesting--singers (Siobhan, Didi, Alex, Katelyn) in favor of Aaron Kelly?  Mike Lynche?  GAH.  And yes, I agree, Crystal is going to go the way of Adam Lambert, David Archuleta, Melinda Doolittle, Chris Daughtrey, and Tamyra Gray.  Whatever the demographic of AI used to be, it isn't anymore.  And while I thank whoever is still watching for helping my Kris Allen to win last year, it's really annoying that basically the same guy keeps advancing (Archie, Cookie, Kris, even Adam looks basically like the others, just with more makeup -- well, maybe not more makeup than Cookie).  So congrats, Lee.  You're okay and all, but I'd never cheat on Kris with you.
 
FRESH MEAT II
If you're still not watching Real World / Road Rules Challenge: Fresh Meat II despite all of my glowing praise for the show, then God help you.  Just... amazing.  Also, there's no one more adorable than Landon in this world.  I guarantee.
 
RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE
RuPaul's Drag Race is my new favorite reality TV competition.  You can all eat my shorts -- I liked Tatianna, in all her dimwitted ferocity.  But yes, Pandora Boxx is, and always will be, the classiest, funniest, and best broadee of the season.  Also, how Bush League is this production?  It's like the entire thing happens in two rooms--the runway and the workroom.  After Ru delivers a video message to the contestants each episode, immediately afterwards he then just walks into the workroom.  Like, snuh?  Why not just deliver the entire message in one fell swoop?
 
PROJECT RUNWAY
It's been a few weeks but MAN -- this season of Project Runway was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better than last season's.  (Karma?  Why, yes, Mean-a Irina.  Congrats on winning the worst season.  Lee DeWyze and you can go commiserate.)  I was thrilled--thrilled I tell you that Seth Aaron won and Emilio, that big piece of arrogant vacuum-of-class, lost.  First, who names their kid Seth Aaron?  Second, did you see how dejected Emilio was?  That the judges dared not crown him?  HIM?  Oh, just bring Anthony back to slap him hard.  Also, Anthony deserves to have a reality show -- in a Hills-esque kind of way.  Either him or Colin Farrell.  Make it happen, TV people.

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