1. Evan Lysacek. This morning I learned that Vera Wang does his outfit. Pfft. I still like the Norwegian Curlers' outfit better. Plus, what's with the shellacked hair? The Ken Doll Meets Alfalfa look is so dumb. But he skates well, with only a little trip on a triple. Ah, okay, I guess the silver snakes crawling all over him is okay then. Not.
SN: Is anyone else uncomfortable when Scott grunts to express when skaters barely pull off a jump?
2. Nobunari Oda. PUPPIES!!!!!!! Is anyone else just flailing at how adorable he is? OH NO! He pulled a Tonya Harding! The good kind of a Tonya (funny misery), not the bad kind (whack whack). Pretty cool, dude, I gotta say. That's a classy way to handle yourself, but you know, it's true, in any other sport, if your equipment breaks, you're SOL.
3. Stephane Lambiel. Okay, I'm a nerd -- I follow figure skating. So I know that this dude (as all Swiss) spins like a a motha. Hey, that first spin combo wasn't great. What's with you Steph? And that second one wasn't that great either. Come on, dude! Okay, that last spin finishing with the headless scratch was more like it. But Scoandra Bezilton thinks its flat. And I agree. He's better than this.
SN: French has to be one of the best spoken languages ever.
4. Daisuke Takahashi. If you haven't landed a quad all season, doesn't that mean you can't do it? Does anyone else think it's weird that although Japan has become one of the dominant countries in figure skating (both mens and womens), the programs are very Amer-European in theme? I mean, I know that classical music tends to be the pool from which skaters choose, and that tends to be Western, but... I don't know. Somehow I wish it could be more forgiving. Also, dude, you are cheering after that? You fell. Even if you get a big score, that's weird.
5. Johnny Weir. Disappointing costume. No swan's beak? No tassel? Ooh... Sandra just dissed Scott, and Scott snapped back. I think that Evan Lysacek is a suntan vampire, and he feeds on Johnny. Because this dude is paiyle. Will someone say that he has soft knees? I hope so. I think that's such a nice phrase. Johnny just did one of my favorite moves! A jump with a hand above his head! Good for him. Seriously. And that's hair.
6. Evgeny Plushenko. Can we talk about his hair for a second? That's enough. Seriously. What is WITH this skater-mullet that he insists on? I think he wins for best outfit, though. That's ferocious dude. Except it doesn't go with the muzak at all. Or with that hair. You know what would? A Canadian Tuxedo. Zingcouver! "This guy's a cat!" With bad hair. No, I'm not going to let it go. Mole. I mean, hair. STOP WITH THE KISS BLOWING.
Has anyone noticed that there haven't been any commercials for like the past three hours? How is NBC making any money?
Does Lori Nichol not choreograph for anyone? Can you name another figure skating choreography?
"Frank Carroll finally has his Olympic champion." SCREW YOU commentators. Michelle Kwan is kick awesome.
Final thought -- skating a clean program -- actually TWO clean progs is for the fans. I get that you can win even if you fall *cough*kristiyamaguchi*cough* but there's something so unsatisfying about that. So good on sunburnt Ken-acek for winning in the best way possible.
I'm pretty pleased, I gotta say. Only way to make this even better? If Yuna Kim wins the ladies competition. (Okay, I lied, two ways to make this even better? If someone holds Evgeny CheeseG.O.E.ko down and shaves his head. What is he hiding under that Hamill mop?) Peace.
1 comment:
CAN'T YOU WAIT THREE MORE EFFING HOURS? Jesus.
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