Oscars 2010: My Super Awesome Take.

Here's how I viewed the Oscars last night, in my own, completely inappropriate and out-of-right-field sort of way.

 

AWESOMENESS.

 

• NPH - I mean, why the F not?
• Sandra Bullock's dress - After an awards season of less than stellar gowns, SB knocked it out.
• Sandra Bullock's speech - And whether she actually deserved the award this year or not, her speech was gracious, funny, touching, sarcastic, and not too long.
• Colin Farrell... twice!  First, he's in the clip for Best Song singing "The Weary Kind."  Second, he's presenting to Jeremy Renner (and awkwardly, not to his co-star Jeff Bridges - wtf?) and talking about spooning in Mexico.  Switch out Jeremy for Zacquisha, and this would be at the top of the Awesome List.
• Queen Latifah making big girls look good.  As much as I hate Queen Latifah for terrible acting and dynamic-less "singing," she looked scrumptious last night.

SUCKY THINGS.

 

• They drag first-time nominee (!), living legend, and 80-year old Christopher Plummer to the Oscars for a 3.5 hour show -- where he knows he's going to lose.  And then they present his award first.  I love Christoph Waltz, but that's just cruel.
• When Babs said, "Well the time has come," before announcing the Best Director winner.  That wasn't cool.  It left Lee Daniels hanging on by his fingernails to slim hope, even though everyone knew it was K. Big's. 
• Small redemption: that K. Bigs decided to honor the troops instead of honoring female directors.  Nice save.
• Up in the Air, the best film of last year, takes nothing, losing in the biggest upset of the night in Adapted Screenplay to Precious.
• And therefore I lost my office pool by one point.
• The utter predictability of most of the categories.  What's the point anymore, if the pre-cursor awards give everything away?  All I can do is snark about the celebrities.  That gets tiresome.

AND RANDOM-OCITY.

 

• Judd Nelson looks wrecked.
• Ferris Bueller has not aged.
• Alec Baldwin has . . . but in a good way.
• George Clooney has . . . but in a bad way.
• Macauley Culken apparently visits the same radiation chamber that Brian Williams does to melt his face.  Is that a thing?
• Is Jaws a horror movie?
• Is Silence of the Lambs?  Because the Oscars gave a shout-out to The Exorcist as the last horror movie to be honored.
• Did anyone else secretly (or openly) want Zacquisha and Stretch Armstrong to present together?
• I desperately hope that Gabby Sidibe has a decent career and not flame out like Catalina Sandina Moreno or Keisha Castle-Hughes.
• Whatever metal plate Charlize Theron has in her neck that pushes her head forward like a Walking Bangle (<--get it?) has apparently infected Jake Gyllenhaal.
• May I please remind Penelope Cruz -- stop speaking English.  You are only good when speaking Spanish.  Ever.