The Truth About Twilight: Part II.

I'm up to Chapter 3 or 4 in Twilight, and I'm peeved. One of the earliest encounters between Bella and Edward is a rip-off of the pilot episode of Roswell, a show for which I have a special place in my heart (excluding season 3, of course, because Tess is a bore).

Plus, Max is way cooler than Edward. Fo' shizz.

I'm a Grown-Up, But Not an Adult.

I have a 401(k) now, although I don't really know how it works. I keep getting these prospectuses in the mail that are wrapped in dark plastic. I get that my finances need to be kept confidential, but I swear my neighbors think I subscribe to multiple nudie magazines.

I don't know what's more embarrassing: that, or the possibility that they might think I'm too stupid to know that I can get nudie pix for free on the internet.

Chabon Ranking.

Of what I have thus far read of Michael Chabon, my favorite author, here is my ranking from best to worst:

1. Wonder Boys.
2. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay.
3. The Yiddish Policemans Union.
4. The Mysteries of Pittsburgh.
5. The Final Solution.

I just finished YPU (for which one of my freshman college roommates wrote a laudatory blurb that appears inside the front cover). The ending has problems, and doesn't quite transcend the hard-boiled drama in the way that Chabon achieves in the first 2/3rds of the novel. Oh well, still awesome. Of these 5, I really only actively disliked The Final Solution.

The Truth About Twilight: Part 1.

I give up. I do have limits. For example, even though I know that there are three Jonas Brothers, I don't know their names. Even though I know that Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana are the same person, I couldn't tell you what season they're on. And even though I've seen High School Musical (please, who hasn't? losers, you're missing out), I have not seen 2 or 3.

But for this, I caved: I bought the trade paperback version of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight. You might have heard of it. Even if you're a snob, or more likely, a grown-up with taste. Scratch that, you don't even need taste. But this has become such a huge phenomenon, that I'm dying to know what all the fuss is about. So I picked it up. And I started reading last night.

It's awful. But there's something about it that makes me want to keep reading. So here are My Reactions, Part 1, because the internet wouldn't be complete without anonymous surfers being able to find the Truth About Twilight.

• I've finished Chapter 1, and so far I've learned that Bella is from Phoenix, Arizona, and that somehow counts as a city of irony. Sorry if I scoff from over here on the, you know, entire eastern seaboard if I think of kittens and poodles frolicing when I consider Arizonian-sarcasm. West coasters are so cute when they think they're disaffected.
• Also, I can't help but picture Robert Pattinson whenever I read about Edward Cullen. Granted, Meyer only describes him as devastatingly beautiful (sort of like me, but actually beautiful), so I don't have much clay with which to imagine my own Adonis, but it's the fate of reading the book after the movie.
• The trade paperback copy happens to have Robert and Kristen Stewart on the cover, instead of the red apple. That blows. I kinda liked the cover themes.
  

Happy Christmas, and All That Jazz.

I have a new crush. It's Grammar Girl.

I downloaded her podcast to keep me company on my drive home for the holidays, and I fell head over heels in love.

Something about the 40 year-olds. My law school friends know what I mean. Then throw in impeccable grammar, and I never had a chance. For sure.

Nerd.

My brother introduced me to this game called The Settlers of Catan. It's been around forever, but I'm just now getting into it. It's nerdtastically addictive, and best played with more than 2 people.

Basically, you have this randomized board, where you have to create settlements, cities, and roads based on a combination of luck and skill. Whoever manages to establish a stable enough settlement wins. There are buckets of rules, but they're all pretty intuitive, so you get the hang of it pretty quickly.

It's geekariffic. Believe you me.

Esquire.

Check it. I'm officially a lawyer, admitted to practice in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. I got sworn in today. The best part? You get a complimentary pen reading "Welcome to the Mass. Bar!"

The pen doesn't write very well. What a noble profession.