The Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Part IV+.

Ah, Week 4 of the new TV season. Week 3 had some bril starts (HIMYM, bien duh; and Cougartown, quel surprizze!). Let's see what's on tap next:

• The Simpsons. Look, I get it. The Simpsons isn't as good as it was in the '90s. That doesn't mean it's terrible. It's still better than most crap that's on TV (and trust me, I know, I watch a LOT of crap). So I watch it. Although, I wish that Comcast (*spit*) would fix its DVR programming so that when I tell it to record only new episodes, it ONLY RECORDS NEW EPISODES. And not like every syndicated run that isn't tagged with a "Repeat" tag. Come on you idiots. And while you're at it. Fix Bravo and Lifetime and USA, too.
  
• The Cleveland Show. I like Family Guy. Sue me. At least I know that Family Guy is a rip-off of The Simpsons. I know my history -- good and proper.
  
• Family Guy. Sue me.
  
• The Middle. The previews looked good, but the time slot (8:30 on Wednesday -- really?) is killer. I probably won't end up following it, but the vibe is very Malcolm in the Middle's first season -- you know, the only good season it had.
  

And after Week 4, the intensity of newness sort of dies down. So scattered about like the remnants of Britney's career (and Whitney's voice -- have you heard her new album? Miss I Need a Bodyguard needs a lozenge) are the following:

• 30 Rock. "I was just thinking about how weird it is that we eat birds." I can't wait to watch for more antics by Bobby Jindal's brother from anotha motha and Liz Lemon.
  
• White Collar. I started watching Psych after a year in, and it was painful trying to catch up on it. So this time, I have my eye on another show that I hope is more Psych and less Monk, and I'll try and keep with it from the beganning.
  
• V. Back in the '80s when I was a young spring chicken in my forties, I was freaked out by this show that my brother loved. And now they're doing a remake with Scott Wolf (long live Bailey!) and Juliet from Lost. I think that now that I'm a sturdy septagenarian, I should be able to handle the creeps. But word has it that ABC is futzing with the scheduling -- doing little mini-batches of episodes. I fear that V will fail.
  

I Tell The Future.

The Beautiful Life: TBL became the first official casualty of the 2009-10 fall TV season.

 

Some of us [read: me] suggested as much by indicating that TBL would be the first show bumped from their [read: my] DVR schedule.  Corbin, thou art no Zacquisha.

Live Like You Like Kris Allen.

I haven't talked about k-sizzle and his kick-awesomeness in a while. Here's what's new:

On Monday, his first single came out:



It's a cover of a no-name band's b-side. Some peeps are upset that his first album isn't "Allenized" like Heartless or She Works Hard for the Money were. Screw them! It's not like he's covering U2 or Bob Dylan or the Beatles. He's covering a band who hasn't broken into the U.S. market and who didn't even release the song. So... yeah. Also, given that this is the first album -- which, unless you are Carrie Underwood, always blows chunks for Idol contestants, just singing a good ol' pop song is friggin' sweet.

Krissy Poo also held a Twitter party where he answer some fun questions. Although he isn't perfect, he has f'ed up dreams like the best of us and likes pumpkin.

And finally, he and Jim Cantiello are adorable:



Jim calls Kris tiny. Kris zings Michael Slezak and calls out the Lam-skanks. Not in that order. Perfection.

Some More Gut Reactions.

Melrose Place
Ashlee Simpson did not die in the first episode... Minus points.
Everyone is put in a morally compromising situation... Even.
The girl from Battlestar Galactica: Razor is on it... Bonus points.
Verdict: Remains as a series-recording on the DVR, but I've already noticed that I put off watching it, so its continued presence in my life is on the brink.

The Beautiful Life: TBL
Shot in that weird way where the vocal track seems slightly out of synch with the video... Minus.
Not enough catfighting among the models... Minus.
Corbin Bleu is no Zacquisha... Minus (but what did you expect?)
And Marisa is great as the bitch... Bonus.
Verdict: Already bumped from my DVR list. Remains to be seen if I ever bother catching up on the interwebs.

Community
The jokes come so fast, it's almost hard to keep up... Even.
Love the Asperger's guy... Bonus.
Sassy black woman is appropriately sassy... Bonus.
Chevy Chase is actually funny... Bonus.
Verdict: Not just DVR'd -- it's prioritized near the top of the list.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Part III.

Week 3 of the new fall season is now! Week 2 had some goodies, and now here are the premieres I'm interested in:

• How I Met Your Mother. HIMYM is finally getting some recognition for being a ridiculously well-written and acted TV show (although it lost the Emmy tonight). I firmly believe that it's Friends for Gen Y and the Millenials. But of course, some of us have been superfans since day 1 -- before it was cool to be NPH acolytes.
  
• NCIS: LA. Reva likes the original NCIS, but I've never given it a shot. I don't know. I like procedurals, but I don't get addicted to them like I do to Padma Laksmi. I will say, though, that there's something about the combo of Chris O'Donnell and LL Cool J and the focus on undercover work that makes this sound pretty good.
  
• The Good Wife. Juliana Margulies is awesome. But she SUCKED on Canterbury's Law. And now she's playing another lawyer. I don't know. Maybe she really is only good opposite George Clooney? Or playing a nurse? I'll watch the pilot, but I don't have high hopes.
  
• Modern Family. I had this on my list, and then I took it off after I saw the preview, and then I put it back on after the ridick buzz it's been getting. I'll check it out, I guess.
  
• Cougartown. I've loved Courteney Cox Arquette ever since she was Alex P. Keaton's girlfriend (just as I've loved Matthew Perry since he was Tracey Gold's boyfriend on Growing Pains -- fyi, recall that Tracey's sister Missy was on Benson! Which starred Robert Guillaume who was on Sports Night by Aaron Sorkin, who wrote the miserably bad Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip on which, yup, Matthew Perry starred!).
  
• Eastwick. I don't get the appeal of Lindsey Price. I think she's a black hole of charisma and talent. And now I've learned she's dating Ted Mosby. Ted could do so. much. better. Sort of hoping this will be a, you know, good version of Charmed.
  
• Flashforward. Urgh. This just doesn't sound good at all -- but I don't know -- I really like John Cho and Joseph Fiennes. And I wonder if the show can really sustain itself based on the premise. The Nine had a cool idea -- but that sucked.
  
• Dollhouse. I'm a Joss Whedon geek.

And this week presents the first DVR war. Wednesday during the 9pm hour, I've got three networks duking it out for my non-Nielsen-but-super-awesome-blog-review-attention. First, there's Glee, which is pretty much set. Second, there's TBL, which is terrible. And third, there's Modern Family and Cougartown. As of now, all three networks are likely to put the full eps online. I'm thinking that TBL is gonna lose this one (that's what you get, Corbin Bleu, for putting on weight).

Random Memory.

A long, long time ago, I was going to the mall or the library (was I suburban or nerdy or both?), and my older brother asked me to pick up a book for him that he needed for school.  I have terrible ears and frequently mishear things. 

 

Which explains why I couldn't find "Tequila Mockingbird" anywhere.  And I looked.  Oh how I looked.

Glee: Gut Reaction.

After all the hubbub that was the pilot of Glee being shown after my Kris Allen destroyed expectations in American Idol earlier this year, the expectations for the regular series was, you know, kinda up there.

With that, it's not bad. I'm still waaaay more into the show-choir reworking of awesome pop songs (I've accidentally heard that they'll be covering Keep Holding On by Avril -- ombombombombomb -- I can't wait.) The in-between stuff needs to find a better rhythm though.

Here's what's awesome:

Dianna Agron as Quinn. The queen-B cheerleader undercover spy juicy wicked girl. The one we're supposed to hate. I sort of love her.

Matthew Morrison as the lead. You couldn't possibly have a more likeable leading character, unless you cast Kris Allen. But Kris would be too short to play the lead. The fact that he originated Link in Hairspray on Broadway, which of course was later played by Zacquisha in the movie, is only awesomer.

Rachel mellowing out. Rachel is the most believable teen. At first I was annoyed by her as the too perfect, uptight, drama hag. But with this second ep, she's showing herself to be more of a -- can't help but express what she's feeling teen. I'm really happy that they went this way with the character.

Here's what's not awesome:

Will's wife. I hate when tv shows or movies give the main character an S.O. who is so obviously wrong for them to the point that it's just stupid that they are even together. At no point do we ever see why in the world Will, who is such a decent guy, would be with a drag like her. Or should I say it.

That's about it. Hmm... so just write Will's wife off the show. Stick him with Jayma Mays, who is adorable and move on. It's a subplot that show's no promise. What. So. Ever.

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year: Part II.

Ah, week 2 of the new fall season. As before, here are the premieres this week that I'm keeping my eye on:

• The Beautiful Life: TBL. Not since The O.C. has an acronym been this anticipated. I mean, really, what is the POINT of the acronym here? Corbin Bleu tries to go all Zacquisha-legit on us. Mischa Barton takes Method acting to a new level. As long as TBL doesn't try and have us sympathize with the spoiled brats (hello Grey's, I'm snarking at you), this show might be worth it.
  
• The Office. Since last year, Fake Jim and Real Jim are both engaged. Here's the big difference between why The Office works and why Parks & Recreation doesn't: Last season, we got a chance to see that Michael Scott is good at his job, and more importantly, is believably good at his job. He sucks as a person, but there's an element of realness there. Whereas Leslie Knope is just stupid.
• Community. This premise is pure gold. And The Soup continues to be the most unlikely springboard into stardom (who would have thought THAT???).
  
• Fringe. Olivia Dunham is no longer annoying in that want-to-shove-her-pompous-and-frigid-face-into-a-cherry-pie way. Charlie, the best thing about the show, has NOT been fired. The only thing I'm worried about is that J.J. doesn't have the best record when it comes the later years of his series (although he manages to right them in the end). Alias's second season was great, Lost's was decent, and Felicity's was okay. I think Fringe will be okay at least this year, but I'm already worried about what comes next. And not in a good way.
  

The Vampire Diaries: So Sucked In.

Dear Diary,

I'm twenty-eight something years old, so it'd be nice if I could stop being addicted to teen-based shows. My days obsessing over the heyday of the WB (remember when Katie Holmes was normal?) were fun and all, but I'm an adult now. And I was making real progress because I don't watch Gossip Girl, I wouldn't (and didn't) touch 90210 with a 10-foot pole, and I think that Twilight is just the worst possible thing in the world. I mean, just really, really terrible -- what with the sparkles and the... sparkles. (After they killed off Cam Gigandet, I was so done with it.)

So now comes The Vampire Diaries, which, smart peeps, we all know came before the dreck that is Twilight (seriously - sparkles?). And yeah, it seems that with True Blood, Twilight, and now this, whichever more-clever-than-I pop culture couch commentator said "it's got vampires in it? just stick it in my eyes!" was sort of on the ball. But the thing is: it's kick-awesome, just as I hoped.

First and foremost, Kevin Williamson, of Dawson's Creek gen-yoos and Scream brils, is behind the wheel. No one does teen angst like he does -- except maybe Greg Berlanti -- no wait, Kevin does it better... or maybe Greg. At least K.Will does precocious banter and irony better for sure -- the best friend who jokes about being psychic and then is? How Whoopi Goldberg!

Second, they dipped way back into the Everwood well and plucked out Steven R. McQueen, who is genetically composed of puppy dogs and napping bunny rabbits. He plays the brother who is trying to be a rebel, and is just cuddly-wuddly cute, complete with a wet nose, trying to do just that. He reminds me of my little brother. Heh.

Third, there is a non-vampire descendant of Stefan in the mix -- holding down the fort. I'm fascinated by that little thread.

Fourth, the actors are all messed up in the ages! The actor who plays Elena is younger than Steven R. Babylioncub, but Elena is the older sister. And other than a couple of the actors, everyone is in their mid-twenties. Sigh, I love teen soap casting.

And finally, there are some good ol' vampire rules that are back in place (no thanks to Twilight's dumbing down of the legends). Sun is bad? Check. Must be invited into the house? Check. Good at brooding? Duh. That one's always around.

ANTM Cycle 13: Episode 1 - Girls Get Cut.

Initial thoughts on the season of the Short Girl. When did 5'7" become short? Why such a strict cut-off? And...

• Broken-foot Girl seems halfway normal. She's my favorite so far.
• Bloody-eye Girl is like Luna Lovegood! Not responding to her name being called? Sweet. I luvs hrr.
• Kentucky-fried Girl got shafted. Her photo was not in the bottom half. I like her spunk.
  

Those are my three faves. I'm not a fan of those who create drama (although they make for good tv) and a few more thoughts: Man-Girl is a man, and Bambi-Girl freaks me out.

So I Know I Can Watch Dance.

I'm kinda awesome at predictions. After the first audition, I've got my eye on Brandon Dumlao. Go to about 30 seconds in:

MJ is predicting that Ryan Ksprckzck will be this season's Natalie Reid. I'm intrigued.

Top Chef Vegas: Frenchies Partout.

This week's ep of Top Chef didn't have an awesome Padma-3-snap-put-down, but it was still fun.

First, the sexual tension between Jennifer and Brother #1 is like in overboard drive. We're talking, like Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan hot, only with hot people.

Second, douchey-Mike is soooooo deluded if he thinks he's part of the top 4 that is Jennifer, Brother #1, Brother #2, and _____. Could he be more "hey guys! what's happening? i'm cool too because i hang out with you!"

Third, I take back some (but not all) of the crap I dished out at Ashley. She could have thrown Mattin under the bus in retaliation for Mattin, you know, chucking her there (DUDE VOUS ETES SUR LA TELE -- WE SAW YOU NIX THE ASPARAGUS). To Tom Colicchio's credit, he totally sensed what was happening and pointed out to the other judges that Mattin parled a fib. This is why Tom and Padma make such a good pair. They see all, and they hold the chefs accountable.

The only thing I don't like about this season is that there seems to be SUCH a clear divide between the eloi and the morloks. Ice Queen, the brothers aren't twins, and the Southern dude with a complex about being southern are clearly better than everyone else. I like snarky horn-rimmed glasses guy, for comic relief, but that's about it. Everyone else sucks! We gotta get some more ups and downs coming, otherwise I'm going to be bored until the top 5 or so.

Freebird!

Oh, GOP. From Joe the Plumber to Joe the Heckler? Really? With tactics like that, you're just asking for retaliation. (Keep refreshing the linked website for hours of entertainment.)

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year.

I sort of love watching TV. I might love it even more than watching movies and puppies. The fall TV season is always just a hyper mess of what to try and commit to, what not to, etc. So much fun!

Here's some stuff that I'm curious about that are (or have) premiered this week:

• Melrose Place. I wasn't a Beverly Hills 90210 person, but when we followed Jake to the apartment complex of naughty bits, I was totally suckered in. And then I stopped watching when they got all old and stuff. But now they're young again! And Katie Cassidy, who was impressively good on Harper's Island, is on it. I just hope that they kill off Ashlee Simpson-Dogface off soon. What a terrible casting choice.
  
• America's Next Top Model. It's a season full of short girls. Which is so dumb. Ms. T is always all about trying to have a fat girl win the thing (which is why, honestly, that Whitney beat Anya in Cycle 10) -- why not, you know, have an entire plus-sized season? But no. They went short. And I'll still watch.
• So You Think You Can Dance. I think it's a terrible decision to move it to the fall, instead of as a fluffy summer fling. TV seasons are no longer September to May type deals. And yet, I'll still watch it.
• Glee. I'm not one of the hordes of worshippers of this show, cuz I sort of think the stuff that happens between the fun songs is boring. If they can match the choreographed show choir scenes awesomeness in the, you know, talking part, I'll be a superfan. For now? Just sing and dance.
• Vampire Diaries. Yeah, yeah, I hate Twilight, but Ian Somerhalder makes a good vampire. And the CW does teen angst waaaaaay better than sparkly Edward Cullen any day.

I'll do this each week for the new season premieres since there are way too many shows to list all at once. And then I'll try and give my gut opinions of the shows whenever I get around to DVRing them. Yay! That's the fun of life these days, I can totally talk about uber-passe things and still feel good about myself.

Lemme Tell You.

Sonic has finally come to Massachusetts. You have no idea how awesome this is. Herewith is a full on analysis:

For some, it was their first time at Sonic after years of seeing the chain's television ads.

Yup. This has been such an effin' tease. They'd advertise and advertise, but we COULDN'T GO TO ONE.

"I am originally from Texas and Sonics were all over the place, so when I found out they were building one in Mass., I was wicked excited,'' said Lundstrom . . . .

Heh. Sounds like Mr. Lundstrom is a full fledged Yankee now.

Krispy Kreme drew hordes of doughnut devotees when it opened in Medford in 2003, but today it has no stores in the state.

Here's the diff: Krispy Kreme sucks. And Dunkin' Donuts is awesome. Ask any New Englander which they prefer. In fact, ask any New Englander what their favorite coffee is. KK had no hope. But there's no local Sonic-like institution in the Northeast. I think they're going to be just fine.

"Oh my God, Sonic is so much better than going to a bar,'' Brockman said.

Sing it.

I Forgot To Post This.

Is it considered scooping someone when you write a pop culture op-ed about a topic before someone else does? 'Cuz EW totes scooped Gawker re: bad mommies.

That reminds me. So this weekend whilst I was in Vegas, it struck me just how many families with young children there were. Out and about at all hours of the night. Including after midnight in the smoke-filled, scantily-clad-dancer-accented, frat-boys-pickled-in-alcohol casinos. What the hell? How is this a family destination? Who are these parents who think that this would be fun for their kids? Probably the same ones who'd buy this for them.

If You're Awesome, You'll Understand This.

I went to Vegas this weekend for the holiday. Other than learning that I'm apparently very good at blackjack, I learned that Canadians aren't actually afraid of the dark.

It's like learning that the Easter Bunny is not actually man-sized.

Reva, Adam, and I Pretty Much Talk About PC All The Time.

Adam had a fun post where he actually, you know, self-assessed his summer movie preview. Sheesh. So, like, I don't know, business-worldy grown-up of him! Thought it might be fun, so here I go looking back with 20-20 h.s. and all that jazz at what I was looking forward to this past summer for box office bliss.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Will have to catch up on blu-ray.
Star Trek. Amazing. Including the mole below Chris Pine's ear.
Brothers Bloom. Sigh, there just aren't enough convenient indie theaters in D.C.
Angels & Demons. A victim of bad buzz. I'm sure I'll catch it on TNT some time.
Up. Pixar goes 634,293 for 634,293. I mean, seriously.
The Hangover. Heh.
Year One. Huge disappointment. This should have been like Stewie among typical babies, and it was more like crap among crap.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Things go boom, and I missed it somehow.
Bruno. A victim of bad buzz.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.
Funny People. Never saw it. Prolly still will at some point.
Paper Heart. Why did I ever think I'd want to see this?
G.I.Joe: Rise of Cobra. I'll still see it, but I've heard that Sienna Miller ruins yet another movie.
The Time-Traveler's Wife. A victim of bad buzz.
Inglourious Basterds. There's still time, right? I'll go see it, I swair!

Padma Cuts Mike.

This week's Top Chef was awesome and infuriating for a couple reasons.

First, I heart the Ice Queen: Jennifer.

Second, I'm peeved about Ashley being quite the fairweather lesbian. Last week she's up in arms that Bravo, the gayest channel on TV, would dare "force" her, a voluntary cheftestant, to cook for a couple getting married, when gays can't get married, except for in Massachusetts (holla!), Iowa, Vermont, Connecticut, New Hampshire, and Maine (don't you date pull a California, you former territory of Massachusetts). How dare they make a chef cook food for a customer who's done her no wrong! But... she'll gladly cook for the military, even though they won't let her serve, you know, cuz she's obviously telling. Oh right, because she might get shot at by bullets. Look, I'm all for picking and choosing your battles, but don't stand on an overarching principle one day and then conveniently forget about it the next just because you finally put on a clean pair of underwear.

And third, I hate Mike, the chef from DC. So how much did I fist-pump the air when Padma took out a bottle of whupass on him. Deal with the 30 second commercial, and then fast-forward to about 5 minutes remaining:



Padma, you had me at Padma.

Even I Can't Eat That.

As someone who has eaten at various points in his life: a deep-fried cheeseburger; deep-fried oreos; deep-fried twinkies; deep-fried pickles; deep-fried coke; a three-day old Taco Bell burrito; Spam; and food I didn't know the name of or from what creature/plant/chemical plant it came, even this makes me gag.

Deep-fried butter.

It is exactly as it sounds. Everything is bigger in Texas, including the artery blockages.

I'm Old.

The Beloit College list is out for the new Class of 2013. For the past ten years or so, these profs at Beloit have published a list to give other faculty a sense of what the cultural worldview is of the incoming freshmen. It's sort of a fascinating time capsule of how much has changed in such a short time.

These in particular make me feel like I'm 93 years old:

• They have never used a card catalog to find a book.
• Salsa has always outsold ketchup.
• Earvin "Magic" Johnson has always been HIV-positive.
• Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream has always been a flavor choice.
• They have never had to “shake down” an oral thermometer.
• The European Union has always existed.
• Desperate smokers have always been able to turn to Nicoderm skin patches.
• There has always been a Cartoon Network.
• They have never been Saved by the Bell. [<---ARE YOU KIDDING ME???]
• There has always been a Planet Hollywood.
• Two Koreas have always been members of the UN.
• Official racial classifications in South Africa have always been outlawed.
• Nobody has ever responded to “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

Livres.

Finished a couple books recently:

The New Kings of Nonfiction, ed. Ira Glass. Sort of a written version of This American Life. I already mentioned that I'm totes down with David Foster Wallace. Other good pieces had to do with a toxic dump site, and the cost of eating a cow. Lesser pieces were way too esoteric and detailed -- about the art world and poker tournaments. Those could have used a tad more (read: a lot more) editing.

The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson. Julie and Julia, but with more serial killing and more architecture, not necessarily in that order, and less womyns and cooking. I'm not entirely sure that the juxtaposition of the two histories (one of the Chicago World's Fair, and one of an early psychopath) works seamlessly -- it's basic conjecture to think whether the two ever really intertwined in a meaningful way. Sort of In Cold Blood-ish in its narrative style, which kinda works. Yeah, can you tell I liked it, but didn't love it?