American Idol Top 5: Neil Diamond

I'm just not a music person. Neil Diamond has sold over 100 million albums and is one of the most sought after tours each summer. Seemed just like some dude with a flashy jacket. I apologize for the heresy, but really, his interview clips were dumb.

I totally dug Jason Castro's first song (something about blue jeans?), David Cook's second song, Brooke White's second song (she should marry a piano), and Syesha Mercado's first song. I don't really care that Syesha's song sounded "old-fashioned." AI isn't looking for musicians and artists, it's looking for singers. It seems like a huge advantage if you know something or two about music arrangement (hallo Blake Lewis and David Cook!), but if you knew something or two about music arrangement, you'd know how bitch ass hard it is to do.

I normally love David Archuleta in the most inappropriate way, but he chose the two most karaoke-rrific songs of the Diamond catalog, and sang 'em just like that. And the CHEESE that flowed during song #2 (America), with the flag backdrop, and the fireworks, and the dancing Statues of Liberty, and the Ben Franklin drag queen? I love cheese (see: Anthony Fedorov), but even I gagged a bit.

Brooke's first song (I'm a Believer, though I'm not) was as miserably terrible as Paula was tonight. And I just can't remember the other songs, but for Syesha trying out for the next Disney musical.

Let's go with Brooke and Jason in the bottom 2, with Brooke going home. Please.

Clarinet.

I used to play clarinet. I wish I never stopped and have often thought about the best way to pick it up again. I was pretty good in my day. Anyway, I was listening to WCPE, which is one of the best classical music radio stations I've encountered, and Weber's Concerto #1 for clarinet came on. It's probably my favorite clarinet solo piece of all time. I've always thought that in one of my alternate lives (I have many) where I singularly pursued clarinet performance as a career, it would have been my signature piece.

Elves.

I'm usually not that frequent a reader of The Onion. Not that I don't appreciate it, I just don't really need constant satire all day every day. I saw this though, and chuckled heartily:

Elf Finger Found In Box Of Keebler Cookies

Laundry.

I was doing my laundry last night--and this wasn't the first time this thought crossed my mind--but it's odd that we use the same laundry basket to collect our dirty clothes and to remove clean clothes from the dryer. In that hour and a half, I don't think my magical plastic basket cleaned itself somehow, or maybe it did. I don't know.

American Idol Top 6: Andrew Lloyd Webber(?!)

It doesn't make sense to me that the producers of American Idol choose themes each week that seem so constricting for the singers. The first season's decade by decade progression at least made sense because any successful artist needs to be able to adapt to evolving tastes over time. Look at Madonna, Mariah Carey, and U2.

Ah well, despite Giving Back because they Make a Lot of Money, I guess they can't afford to expand things too much and pay royalties on actually cool songs. Otherwise we might actually get to here David Archuleta's supposedly rockin' version of Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy." It's ok for now because I actually sort of dug his "Think of Me." I also thought that Carly Smithson had some something special going on tonight, too, with "Jesus Christ Superstar."

Middle of the road for me tonight was David Cook and Syesha Mercado. I like very much that David decided not to remix another pop song, because his "fresh take" on everything was ironically getting old. I'm also way impressed with rockers who actually have decent voices. Bo Bice and Sebastian Bach are good examples of that. I think he fumbled his first few notes, thought, and the tempo was a hair too slow to be really magical. Syesha, on the other hand, was a little too good, and sort of confirmed the fact that she's more Broadway than pop. It's interesting because that's the way that Broadway is headed, but it's definitely not the way that pop is headed.

Jason Castro, my favorite, took a risk, and failed. I was sort of digging the whole "Memory" vibe, but in the end, it just sounded weird. I think the song is just far too well-known, and unlike "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," where someone already broke the standard take and eased people into Jason's version, he was the first to remix it, and it sucked. Brooke, the other folk-singer, actually sounded like her voice would be able to sustain "You Must Love Me," but for her flub at the beginning. The restart was so egregious, that Paula looked like she was ready to scream at her for being so unprofessional. Plus, honey, it wasn't the first time you messed up an entrance to a song. "Every Breath You Take," anyone?

I'm gonna go Carly, Jason, and Brooke in the bottom 3, with Brooke going home.

The Awesomest Web Animation I've Found: Part I.

Animator vs. Animation by *alanbecker on deviantART

For a bigger version, click here.

Foreign Affairs.

I'm working my way through the Pulitzer Prize winners for Fiction. We'll see how that turns out. But at the very least, it led me to find Alison Lurie's Foreign Affairs. It has already paid for itself.

Foreign Affairs follows two Americans doing research in England, both of whom fall into parallel--but distinct--affairs. When you have two independent protagonists, it's hard to make them equally compelling. I'm reminded of the musical Anything Goes, where I think the effort was ultimately a failure. Here, however, Lurie created two characters who stand on their own, inform each other, and whom are missed when not talked about. It's a simple, effective novel that examines loneliness and alienation.

I wonder if I could have picked it out of a pile sua sponte and recognized it as worthy of a Pulitzer.

Lester.

Jon Lester rocks bunnies.

Old People.

This older gent is having a pleasant discussion with his lady friend at the table next to me in this restaurant that I like to study at. Every so often, he farts in my general direction.

"Fashion."

Today I saw a girl wearing a puffy skirt, black leggings, and Uggs. Like, intentionally and simultaneously.

I thought fashion was supposed to attract a significant other or make strangers jealous. I didn't think it was supposed to attract pity and a little bit of puke.

American Idol Top 7: Mariah Carey

Weird. This was not the trainwreck I was expecting it to be. Even better... we had A Moment. David Archuleta came close during the semi-finals with Imagine. But David Cook knocked it out with--of all songs--Always Be My Baby. When those violins entered with the detached notes, the song hit its stride, and I was all in. Wow. This needs to go in the pantheon, Carrie Underwood's Alone, Fantasia's Summertime, etc.

Jason Castro did me proud. And I even thought that Syesha Mercado was decent. Carly Smithson sang one of the most famous Mariah songs, and didn't quite own it. I didn't compare it to Mariah, I compared it to when Kelly Clarkson sang it season 1.

Kristy Lee Cook was just boring. But the worst had to be Brooke White, who is busy conflating feeling with basic rhythm and intonation. I used to be a fan, but unlike her male counterpart Jason, she can't stay on pitch. I'm done with her. It doesn't help that she butchered my favorite Mariah song of all time.

American Idol Top 8: Idol Gives Back

It's sort of beside the point since Michael Johns, aka grimaces-while-he-sings, got voted off. Meh. I don't see it as all that big of a loss, not that big of a shocker, and not that cruel that Seacrest pointed out that no one was voted off this time last year. I don't really have all that much sympathy for also-rans who feel entitled to a singing career after placing a whopping 8th on American Idol. Shouldn't you have to be good first?

Michael, your cravat ain't Freddy's. Learn how to sing without looking like you want to poop at the same time.

Overall, I was satisfied with the bottom 3. I'm getting ready to jump off the Brooke White wagon, too. She seems to be getting all uppity over the fact that the judges don't "get" how much she "feels" each song. How can they criticize her when she feels each song so much? HOW? Bitch, please.

Jason Castro and David Archuleta are still my boys.

Belly.

From theOnion.com. Dear Lord! Cleveland, he's a good pitcher and all, but something tells me he could be better.

J.J. Abrams Giving a Crazy Cool Talk.

I like to think that my favorite producers and directors actually do have cool ideas. This is a talk by J.J. Abrams. It reassures me that someone in Hollywood is creative, and doesn’t just pander to the lowest common denominator.

American Idol Top 9: Dolly Parton

I thought David Archuleta, Jason Castro, and Syesha were brilliant. I usually think Simon is right on with his comments, but his reactions to Castro and Syesha were weird. Castro went back to his semi-final week 1 vibe, only better, and Syesha showed restraint by not doing a copycat version of "I Will Always Love You" that some Idol also-rans would have done.

Jason Cook, Brooke White, Carly Smithson, Kristy Lee Cook, and Michael Johns, were all solid. I liked that they pulled a Daughtry-a-la-Live's-I-Walk-the-Line with Cook this week, playing off the silly controversy as if it was nothing. That's because it is nothing. I've never assumed that the contestants ever did the arranging completely on their own. Michael looks like he's constipated when he sings. Kristy Lee looks dead inside (though she hit one big note).

Ramiele Malubay. Please let it end. Some websites have it wrong.

The Red Sox payroll is only #4.

Last year, when Boston won the world series, everyone talked about how the Red Sox had become the new Evil Empire, i.e., everything baseball fans despised about the Yankees. Apparently not everything. Heh.