Oh Goody!

It's about time, ABC.  Too bad you can't also fix the dent in your head that cancelled Eli Stone and Pushing Daisies.  Also, I wish that you had picked up Glee, because I think it fits better on your network.  I'm kinda afraid that if it doesn't go all House and/or Bones its first time out that Fox will give it the ol' Action/Wonderfalls/[insert any number of amazing tv shoes that Fox picked up only to spit on and kick before their time really Fox really what is wrong with you and don't say that the MLB post-season messes with your ability to launch shows] heave ho.

Vindication.

I knew it. Does this mean I shouldn't bother with the 15 or so unwatched eps of Lost that I have on my DVR?

Well, at the very least, it means that I'm more pop-culturerer than Adam.

American Idol 8: The Top 5.

I hate Comcast. They messed up my recording, so I could only catch Kris and Allison on rickey.org (thanks, Rickey, btw!). So I'm in a bad mood now. And I don't have the patience to write a good recap (like I ever did). I need my Real World / Road Rules fix to come a day early. (I know, I haven't written about that show -- trust me, it's amazing, and yes, entirely sexual -- I'm just too lazy to do it.)

1. Adam was the best. I like that they haven't been giving him grief this season at how theatrical he is. It almost did in Clay, and it did do in Scooter Girl. But the pimp spot again? Really? Really? With that entrance, I almost expected his whole body to unzip to reveal a tiny four foot drag queen inside with fishnets. Like Lucy the Slut (<--hugs for who gets the reference!).

2. Allison was second best. Hey, judges, this is the raspy voice you should be lovin'. Ok, so she pronounces the song like "Hsomeone hto hwaaaaaatch hover hhhhhhhhme." So hwhat. Her voice sounds great recorded. (Her Hpapa Hwas Ha Hrolling Hstone is one of two songs I've bought from iTunes this season.)

3. Kris was third, but by a bit. For the first time, I liked his last falsetto note. But I wasn't crazy about the John McCain-type shuffling around the stage he was doing. John McCain isn't hot like you are Kris, but even you can't pull that off. Take off your shirt. What?

4. Matt was a close fourth. Unlike past songs, I liked his second half better than the first half of his song. But DUDE. You sang Melinda Doolittle's signature Idol song! There are only three people left in this competition who can dare reach for the sun, and you aren't one of them. Neither is Gokey. Because I hate him.

5. Evil Gokey. STOP. SHOUTING. AT. ME.

Easy money says that Matt and Allison are in the bottom two, with Matt going home.

Oh, and Dear FOX: F--- you for having the top 5 sing only 1 song. It almost makes me hate you as much as I hate Comcast. If you keep this amateur crap up on this season where I want to dream about Kris, Adam, and Allison frolicking in the vales and valleys, I'm going to come over there and make you wear whatever giant torn lips that Paula was calling a "dress" tonight.

Most in need of being fired: Randy. What did he say? It's not about the connection? I... I'm flabbergasted that he's a music producer. Just flabbergasted.

They Don't Count As Dogs.

I don't know what's the best part about this story:

1. Tinker Bell flies.

2. A pet psychic to the rescue.

3. Even Mother Nature wants to punt chihuahuas.

Jacoby Steals It.

Because yesterday, he rocked out. My fave player kicking the Yankees in the nads, figuratively bien sur:

American Idol 8: Disco *Shudder* Night.

Gotta lotta stuffa toa doa, so we're actually live-blogging tonight.  Like, live live-blogging, as opposed to non-live live-blogging that I'm so fond of!

 

7:58 - I've already set up Fringe to record 10 minutes long so that I can get both AI and Fringe DVRd.

 

8:01 - It's unclear.  Do the votes from last week get added to this week's to determine the two people going home?  Or is it just the two lowest for this week?  They should explain that.  Also, epileptics in the audience: avert your eyes.

 

8:03 - Kris is dressed like Simon.  Except hotter.  And Adam went sans makeup.  Good on him.  Lil Rounds comes busting out of the gate with some Chaka.  I think that Lil is better uptempo.  Randy says that it doesn't show Lil's vocal control.  Prolly because she doesn't have any.  The judges just ran over her with an 18-wheel bus.  Now they are throwing little mini-buses at her.  And now Ryan is setting her up by forcing her to talk back to the judges, thus bringing out the part of her America dislikes.  Awkward.

 

8:12 - Kris Allen is singing "She Works Hard For the Money."  It's a "story about a woman" so it has something to say.  Ryan can't keep his hands off him.  We can hear him play the guitar!!!!!!!!!  That was such a slick remix.  (Take off your shirt.)  Randy's upset because Kara's going first.  The judges are finally gushing over him.  Hey judges, read my blog, and you'll find out that people--awesome people no less--have known that Kris is awesome since the beginning.  Since before the beginning.  I'm happy that you're finally on the bandwagon, the more the merrier, but you best respeck and recognize who built this bandwagon.  Werz.

 

8:23 - Evil Gokey just shouted at us.  Someone needs some fiber.  Why does it always seem like Danny's microphone is smaller than everyone else's?  He dances like every white boy I know.  I'm unclear how this isn't as karaoke as Lil's.  Randy looks like a sunrise.  A big sunrise.  A very very big sunrise.  Simon just dipped his toes in the water of criticizing the Evilness.  Oh YEEEEAAAHHH!!!!!  Take that Paula's Prediction of the Finals!

 

8:23 - Allison Iraheta is wearing one of the super speedos that Michael Phelps wore when he was high, I mean, breaking world records.  That suit that takes 20 minutes just to get into.  I feel like she finished the song before the band did.  But that was great.  I think that Paula hired a speechwriter this season, everything is so canned.  I'm imagining her learning her lines from index cards with the script spelled out fo-net-ick-lee (<--- hugs to whoever gets the ref!).  I think that Allison in those heels is taller than Kris.

 

8:35 - I'm uncomfortable with the Burger King singing about SpongeBob's butt.

 

8:36 - The Glambert is going to connect to something emotionally.  A tiny snake is eating his pinky!  Wow, with this lighting, McFly is gonna disappear if his parents don't kiss.  But seriously, that was amazing.  Paula's in squiggle-vision.  I agree with Paula that he's fascinating.  And I agree that Adam melted Paula into the whatever chemicals currently compose her body.  Glambo just gave a shout-out to the arranger, thus saving a Daughtry/David Cook sniffle of taking credit where it isn't due.  Oh, he's working this game to win.  I'd be friggin' thrilled with a Glambake v. K-Sizzle finale.

 

8:46 - Matt Giraud is staying alive despite America twice--TWICE--kicking him off the show.  Hey, Jennifer Hudson's doppelG is wearing Phelps's speedo, too!  And trying to step into Goatie's spotlight.  Uh oh, Matt's groupie just name-dropped Glamdunk.  Simon is finally getting back to his Weakest Link roots and going all "mean Brit harumph!" on him.  I think the best thing about Matt wearing hats is that it hides his secret unicorn power.  And now with the cutaway shot, Anoop has some shmutz on his chin.

 

8:55 - Anoop Desai, my UNC friend, you need less hair.  Not more.  Instead of the 5'o clock shadow (which likes an 8'o clock mistake), pluck the brow.  Oof, I was going to say good until that last note.  Randy is such an idiot.  "You can sing."  No s--- Sherlock.  Paula just called it "the growth."  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  I love it that Simon is going rogue.  Finally.  I knew things were weird this season with Paula being all "astute" and Randy being, no well, he's always special.

 

9:00 - Allison pronounces "baby" as "paby."  And my DVR cuts off on Anoop's playback.

 

Dear Gut, whattya say?

 

Adam and Kris gave me fuzzies.

Allison is a solid three. 

Anoop managed to be an Indian Brian McKnight... sort of.

Lil.  Danny.  Matt.  The worst.

But will Danny be in the bottom?  With that applause?  Sigh.  I wish. 

I guess Anoop, Lil, and Matt will be in the bottom.  With Lil and Matt going home.

Happy Patriot's Day.

To all in Massachusetts and Maine.  Woot!

Is It Possible to Have Just One Smithereen?

Paul Rudd is my hero.



I've seen the Tina Fey and the Megan Mullally promos for the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, but I somehow have missed the Paul Rudd one. Until now.

Summah, Summah, Summah Time. Starts in May Somehow.

The summer starts in early May, sayeth Hollywoods. And thus come forth summer movies! Oh, I'm all snobby and stuff about filmsmovies, but I'm also American enough to like things that go boom and things that cut the cheese (if this were Family Guy or Scrubs, we'd have a quick little montage with Dick Clark and the bonus round of the $25,000 Pyramid). Thanks to my trusty EW, whose latest ish runs down this upcoming season's offerings, here's what I'm look a-forwards to.

In May:

1. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (5/1). I have this theory about men: some men collected baseball cards as kids, and other men collected comic books. As adults, you can usually tell the difference. I'm the latter. And the chance to see Gambit, er, Wolverine on screen again is so fetch.
2. Star Trek (5/8). I hate Star Trek. But, man, does J.J. Abrams make this reboot look awesome. Plus, it's hard to not support the patron saint of Korean actors, John Cho (although the second Harold and Kumar is a fairly convincing counter-argument).
3. Brothers Bloom(5/15). This con artist movie has been delayed several times now, which is usually a sure-fire indicator that it's going to smell like armpits. Which is too bad because I'm a huge Mark Ruffalo fan, and I heart con flicks.
4. Angels & Demons (5/15). They gave Tom Hanks a haircut. I'm so there.
5. Up (5/29). When "Cars" or "A Bug's Life" is your answer to naming the worst Pixar movie to date, then Pixar could make a movie about armpits for all I care. I'd see it. In 3-D.

June

1. The Hangover (6/5). Adam says the advance buzz on this is like bunnies covered in honey. Also, I can't believe that Ed Helms was only born in 1974.
   
2. Year One (6/19). Michael Cera and Jack Black as anachronistically aware cavemen traveling the Book of Genesis. Game. Set. Match.
   
3. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (6/24). Shia Laboeuf, aka the next Tom Hanks and not Jim, needs to stop slicking back his hair like a douche. But things go bang. Wheeeeee!

July

1. Bruno (7/10). Heh. I'm so nervous about what will occur in the movie. Good nervous. But nervous.
   
2. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (7/15). Because Harry Potter is legen--wait for it---kick-awesome.
   
3. Funny People (7/31). A Judd Apatow movie that's actually directed by Judd Apatow!
   

August

1. Paper Heart (8/7). I noted somewhere earlier in my blog that I love Michael Cera, but I worry that he might now have much range. That being said, I have not yet grown tired of this pony's one trick, and I love that he has been given a Paul Giamatti-ticket of unlikely leading man status. I'm supporting him till the well runs dry, if ever.
   
2. G.I.Joe: Rise of Cobra (8/7). As my brother implored, please don't eff up this all-too important childhood memory. It's bad enough that Sienna Miller, aka poster child for famous-for-no-good-reason-I-hate-her-guts-I-know-that's-shallow-but-I-can't-help-it celebrities, is in it. I'd forgive them in a heart-murmur for that gaffe if they have the Joes and Cobra shoot different colors (was G.I.Joe red and cobra blue or vv?).
   
3. The Time-Traveler's Wife (8/14). Rachel McAdams is a stunning, natural actress. One of my faves.
   
4. Inglourious Basterds (8/21). Heehee, QT is all like "yo! I don't follow moviemaking rules, so me not going to follow grammar and spelling rules neitherz!" Whatevs. I can unspool from my Grammar Girl worship for two hours to watch some QT awesomeness.
   

Most anticipated: Up and Harry Potter. (Natch. You didn't think I'd actually grow up between the end of American Idol and the beginning of the summer season despite, *shudder* the big 3-0 occuring therein?)

The other big shooty movies that are coming out, but that I'm totes apathetic towards: Terminator Salvation (I'm not a Christian Bale fan, and there have been too many Terminator stuff, bad stuff, lately); Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (I'll catch it on Netflix); Public Enemies (meh); Julie and Julia (I love that Meryl headlines summer movies, but I'm not feeling this one.

Potpourri.

Wherein I tie up some loose ends of thoughts and observations that don't merit their own blogpost (should give you an idea of the quality of stuff up ahead):

-----

Everyone knows what "tater tots" are. (And are they ever tasty. ) But I grew up calling them "potato puffs" (western Massachusetts, boyardee!). No one I know has heard of that. But today, I actually went to Whole PaycheckFoods before noon to beat the hellish, and I really mean spawn of the devil, crowds that huddle there to shop, because heaven forefend that you buy cheese that's been aged less than 60 days. Wait... where was I going with this. Oh, right, their salad bar there had them and they called them "tater puffs." My mind was blown.

-----

The last two covers of GQ magazine have featured Robert Pattinson and Zac Efron, respectively. I think Twilight's stoopid, and I love the Efron, but since when did GQ's target audience become 12 year old girls? And if that's the case, when did 12 year old girls start being interested in nekkid Jennifer Aniston?

-----

I'm a fan of classical music. By the way, I hate that classical music radio stations play too much baroque music, and keep insisting that classical music is "relaxing." I get that classical music isn't for everyone, so if someone calls it "boring," I get that. But good classical music is anything but "relaxing." Really good classical music is totally energizing. For some reason, I've been listening to the arias from The Magic Flute recently. I'm sure you've heard at least this one before. FF to 2:43 to hear the famous section (and the totes ridonk high notes being homered ou' tha parque):


-----

Speaking of the Efron, he was at the results show from American Idol last week. EW.com sends a reporter to the taping to give the inside scoop. This week's was particularly happy because it pit the Efron against Kris Allen, aka K-Sizzle, aka you might have heard that I'm a fan, in a Battle Royale of... NICENESS. Yeah, I know. My heart skipped a beat, too. Then it skipped another when it was determined (obvs) that Kris was the nicest.

American Idol 8: The Top 7.

Now that everyone who is left has had the pimp spot, who *coughEvilGokey* are the producers going to put last tonight?  Is it even going to be a good thing tonight what with the judges not being to shut up long enough to, you know, let the show run on time?

 

I think it's interesting that Quentin Tarentino is the judge.  He's a great judge (with a head the shape of a turnip/sweet potato cross breed), and he should totally have a chin war with Jay Leno (newest reality show idea!), but his films aren't really for the American Idol general audience.  True, Kris Allen is like an adrenaline shot to the heart, and Evil Gokey is like Bill, but that's where the comparisons end.

 

So Allison Iraheta goes first, and she sings Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing."  This makes me think of when Diane Warren was on the show, and how drugged out she was.  That, and animal crackers down Arwen's crotch.  I think she did okay (have you noticed that her left hand always looks like it's delicately holding an egg?), but it's a friggin' crappy song from a crappy movie.  As much as I agree with Simon (major Lil diss), it's not a performance that gets me excited.

 

Then comes Anoop Desai, and he looks like Scott dressed him.  Too.  Many.  Patterns.  Not.  Enough.  Haircutting.  And something's gotta give with the caterpillers ready to jump each other over his eyes.  Now that Scott is gone, I see all the remaining 7 as viable recording artists.  So yeah, I'm going to pick on their looks (as if I need a reason).  Even though Randy and what's-her-face say that there were dynamic changes, I actually don't think that came across on TV.  I felt like the highs weren't very high and the lows weren't very low.  Anoop can sing all smooth-like-a-baby-butt and stuff, but QT was right, he needed to rough it up a bit, and he didn't.  Ooh, and you could tell that Simon hated it.  Oh, middle school last dance memories are coming back to me!  (More Than Words!  Wonderful Tonight!)

 

Adam Lambert is next.  Does he ever sing anything that didn't come from the 70s or the 80s?  The thing about those decades is that there is such an "image" associate with them, and so Adam can play to that.  But I'm trying to hear him sing an original song... not just an original arrangement of a song... and I don't quite hear it.  As good as Adam was (and don't get me wrong -- that was a brilliant take on Born to Be Wild), it felt like something I could see in Rent.  Oh, and he's a little top heavy.

 

Sourpuss, er, Matt Giraud is up.  He sings the second Bryan Adams song of the night.  Randy Newman eat your heart out!  Except that Matt screwed up the last third of his song.  Tonight he reminds me of Donald Duck playing the dueling piano in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?  While that's a pleasant thought, that doesn't make me want to vote for him.

 

Evil Gokey is not in the pimp spot!  FACED!  Oh, jeez, no glasses?  Look, as much as I make fun of the assortment of frames he has, just because we kicked off the blind guy doesn't mean we need a new one.  Evil is trying out a Don Johnson scruff.  Yeah, put that back in the box from whence it came.  Did Simon just reference Evil's dead wife again?  Seriously?  I have to admit it.  Evil has done a good job of toning down the stuff I hate about him (although in his interview he said he was bored -- BORED??? -- and you get to talk to Kris Allen all day?).  It's really the obsessive pimping by the judges and the producers that make me dislike him.

 

The personification of kick-awesome-ocity isn't going last, but that's ok.  Kris Allen easily wins the prize for hotness, er, I mean, for the cool factor for picking the song from Once, but OH MAN this is risky.  I'm actually too nervous to enjoy his performance (I also am distracted by how ill-fitting his jeans are -- they look like Robin Hood tights, except with jeans - I don't even understand how that's possible and I'm looking at them).  I think that Randy and Kara's reactions perfectly sum up how this is going to be received.  Some are going to HATE it, and some are going to LOVE it.  I haven't seen Once, but I do know that this song needs more than a minute and a half to just seep into the bones.  Man, Kris, this was a week when tweens and twentyeightsomething guys wanted to hear you sing a flat out pop love song.  I don't begrudge the coolness of the song choice, but it left me cold.

 

Lil Rounds has had enough of Simon kicking her in the face.  While I don't agree with her choice to Church Up one of the loveliest songs in the whole world, I understand why she did it.  And I didn't not like it.  Paula gives one of her patented "praise that isn't" comments and Simon backs up over her with his bus.  To him, Lil is the anti-Susan Boyle.

 

Who Moved Me?  No one.

Who Did the Best?  Adam.

Really?  By default.  Everyone else was sort of middling.

Worst Fashion Trend?  Coats with skinny jeans.  Or just skinny jeans.

Bottom Three?  Anoop, Matt, and Lil.

Lil?  Really?  I was going to put Kris or Allison in the bottom three, but then Lil just HAD to talk back to Simon.  Desperation does not go with that hairdo.

Bottom Two?  Anoop and Matt.

Going Home?  Matt.

Should Go Home?  Anoop.  There's nothing exciting about him that I can't get from someone else more talented in the group.

Judges Save?  Kara is Matt's biggest fan, but she's also the pariah of the group.  Preaching to the stuffed animal collection that one.

I'm a Little Late to the Party.

But American sign language (hereinafter "ASL") interpretations of pop songs is kinda awesome. Thanks to EW.com for pointing me to these samples. And yes, there's a Single Ladies version there.



If someone does a "We Didn't Start the Fire" cover, I'll give you my left kidney. Twould be too cool.

We Bostonians Were a Little More Ballsy in the 1700s.

That didn't last very long.

FYI, it's all extra funny because Jay grew up outside Boston (as did Conan -- and Jimmy likes to pretend he is even though he isn't).

'Splained.

Huh.  So my allergy to hazelnuts and my allergy to peaches isn't odd.

 

And yes, I can't eat Nutella.  Cry for me.

In the On-Going Apartment Wars...

This round goes to my apartment building. At 11:50pm last night, we had a fire alarm. Mind you, the fire department never came. Which means that our building's fire system is not hooked up directly to the local fire station, which is only a couple blocks away. And when we were re-entering, the alarm sort of sputtered on and off a bit before finally shutting off.

Yeah. I feel safe. This is now the second fire alarm we've had in the past five months.

Merry Easter.

Do this.

Truth. They Captured Truth.

Oh, The O.C. I stopped watching you post-Oliver, so I missed this:



But I have since rectified at least that little hole in my heart as a result of this:


Funny OC spoof - Watch more Funny Videos

Watch both. In order. Actually, either order. You'll get it.

Always On My Mind.

On this high holy day, on which I refrain from the consumption of the evilness that is meat, I came across this story.  Advocate groups are inherently a little nutso, but none moreso than PETA.

 

Little do they know, I'd be more inclined to have me some sea kitten for Good Friday supper.  Oooooooooh... Maundy.

Definition of Inevitability.

Not too long ago, a friend of mine sent me this story from the New York Times (that still exists?).  It could have been a clever April Fools story, except that it turns out these things are for reals:

 

 

Seems like, you know, the DUI (or OUI -- holla, Massachusetts!) was bound to happen.

 

I totally want one.

American Idol 8: The Top 8, Or How They Threw Almost Everyone Under the Bus.

I'm not an idiot. I get that American Idol is as much a tv show as it is whatever the hell they market it as (a singing competition? pfft). And so the judges have their favorites, and the producers have their favorites, yadda, yadda. I thought this season was a lil over the top with the Unholy Trinity of Adam, Lil, and Danny being SO overly pimped. But tonight was so ludicrous, it went plaid (<--- 5 hugs to anyone who gets the reference). In reality... Allison and Adam were heads above the rest. Allison for her brilliance, and Adam for his audacity.

...Matt and Danny were decent and probably did enough to be safe. On Top Chef or Project Runway, they would be part of that middle pack that the judges would neither criticize nor praise.

...Kris and Anoop were not that good and not that bad, respectively, but because of the current dynamic of the contest, neither performance is going to change their current standings. That means that Kris won't be in the bottom 3, even if he was one of the worst of the night, and Anoop will be in the bottom 3, even though he wasn't.

...Lil is maybe a singer but definitely not an artist, and Scott is definitely neither.

But,

In AI8 world... Allison is somehow "unlikeable"?

... Adam looked like he was sitting on a toilet, but yet still given his third pimp spot of the season so far?

... Kris was "indulgent"?

... Anoop had to give a mea culpa for something I didn't even see him do last week just so that the show can remind us that we don't like him?

... Lil is somehow still a "great singer" even though we've never heard it?

... Danny was somehow genius even though he was, once again, pretty good but not deserving of the wildly excessive praise that the judges give him?

And did you notice: Anoop's clip for the telephone numbers (which all come from the dress rehearsal perfs if you didn't know) made him sound worse, while Adam's clip fixed his out-of-tune final note from the live show.

I just don't get it. Despite the American Idol Rewinds, which I am so sure is killing in the ratings *crickets*, the show itself has no re-run syndication moneymaking potential. Sure it's probably cheap as hell to make, but the post-show money is in the recording popularity of the contestants on the show. And Taylor Hicks notwithstanding, the producers would do well to just let the contest play itself out. Kelly Clarkson, Clay Aiken, David Cook, Chris Daughtry, and Carrie Underwood were not pushed by the producers at all, and they just happen to be the best selling alumni. I mean, Kelly wasn't even supposed to be in the finals--Justin and Tamyra were.

Tonight made me want to puke a little in my mouth. Good thing Real World / Road Rules Challenge starts tomorrow. Saved!

Bottom 3: Anoop, Scott, Lil.
Bottom 2: Anoop, Scott.
Kicked off: Scott.

Best. Day. Ever.

Friends, tomorrow is a good day. Nay, a great day. For tomorrow marks the beginning of yet another installment of the finest, most penetrating bit of television known to couch-atatoes like yours truly.

Yes. It's time for Real World /Road Rules Challenge: The Duel II.

And yes, I like it even more than American Idol (well, not including Kris Allen, natch).

I can unabashedly say that I think this is the best show on TV hands down. The "cast" is made up of former cast members of various Real World and Road Rules seasons, sometimes including the one that will have just ended. Better yet, the Challenges have taken on such a life of their own, that there are even cast members who started... on other Challenges.

I can't tell if these people are the most brilliant sycophants of the pop culture obsessed public, or the saddest specimens of humanity. Probably a bit of both. There are people well into their thirties who still come back to the show, hungry for more humiliation and catfights, and other ridiculous exposure. There are people who need to win the not-always-worth-it money prize at the end so that they can start their lives. And there are people who do these challenges who are so eager to "compete" (because they sucked at anything NCAA?) that they work out non-stop to so that they are in fighting shape on the show.

So basically, it's a show about young not-really-all-that-famous, beautiful, dumb-as-brick people returning to the spotlight where they know they will be made fun of and know that the producers intentionally make it as stressful as possible so that they fight with each other... all in the name of money and fame that doesn't even exist. Because they can't seem to do anything else in life. Seriously.

Expect tons of blogging. Because you don't need to watch the show to understand just. how. crappy righteous. this. show. really. is.

He Needs Law.

Adam drew my attention to the fact that Jimmy Fallon was embarking on the truly noble quest of reuniting the Saved By the Bell cast. Don't scoff. I actually am using "noble" non-sarcastically here.

BTW, I stood behind Elizabeth Berkeley one time on the shuttle between New York and Boston. She was skeletal in person. Maybe Jesse never really came off those pills:



It turns out that Screech might be busy though. Defending himself in small claims court. Oh how the mighty geeky have... ended up almost exactly where you thought they would.

I Don't Get It.

Why can you look directly at a sunrise and/or a sunset, but you can't look directly at an eclipse?

Boston Takes On NBC.

For Boston people, this is interesting.  Apparently the local NBC affiliate (WHDH Channel 7) is planning on running a 10pm news hour instead of the weird Jay Leno thingy that NBC is doing next year.  You know, because NBC has no f'ing clue what it's doing.  It's astounding that the network that gave us Family Ties, Golden Girls, LA Law, Seinfeld, Friends, ER, and the Cosby Show is floundering so badly.  It's like, once ABC figured out that 18-49 upper middle class viewers are more lucrative than families, they just threw all their Mickey Mouses at NBC... and succeeded.

 

Anyway, this local news thing is intriguing.  We in Boston like our local news anchors.  They're familiar.  We're sad that Chet and Nat didn't stay together.  The Bianca v. David thing is sickeningly sweet.  Randy's gay, and no one cares.  Hell, even Matt and Ben gave a shout-out to Joyce when they won their Oscar.

 

But the fall from grace that is WHDH news is sort of amazing.  They really were the dominant newscast ten years ago.  And now with all this, they might not even exist anymore.  Strange.

The Economy.

Planet Money, a podcast from NPR about the economy, is wicked. And their blog has some amazing pictures to represent the current state of the U.S. Here's one that shows where unemployment is hitting:



And I can't get this one out of my mind:



It's a 40 Cent Store. Incredible.

Daddy Issues.

Maybe it's just me, but if I were the son of the greatest basketball player (and possibly greatest athlete ever and biggest reason why I think basketball isn't really a good example of a "team" sport), I would, you know, choose a different path.  (And most definitely if your older brother also is vying for daddy's approval via hoops.)  You're never going to be as good.

 

At least do baseball.  You'll be better than him from day one.

Ain't No Sunshine Like Kris.

Kris Allen has been getting raves on the interwebs for this: his perf from last night. Even thefunnystone on VFTW actually had a good thing to say about him. Whereas Professor Chan is a normal, albeit snarky, commentator on that site, thefunnystone is the main guy and he HATES the show. For him to like Kris is a bit of a coup:

Ending the night is monkey boy Kris Allen. He wants to “make a moment” so he plays the piano tonight. I’m immediately distracted by the ugly moustache he has decided to grow. Plus, the monkey faces are still in full effect. But his performance of “Ain’t No Sunshine” is one of the first times this season I’m genuinely impressed by a contestant. The arrangement of the song, which I’m sure he stole from someone, is really clever and well put together. Kris also changes up the flow of the song enough to really personalize it and make his performance stand out. And as always, his vocals are on par. But I’m not bored this week. So good for Kris for having one the first performances I was truly impressed by in a non-VFTW way this season. Kind of sad that it took until the top 9 for me to say that.

Other notes from the results show:

It is so dumb that the producers decided to lip-synch the group numbers during the season the BLIND GUY is on it. Amazing, he's miked, even when he's not singing into the mike.

David Cook plays the guitar lefty.

I can't believe Evil Gokey made fun of Matt's goat vibrato. What a douche. Only semi-anonymous interweb bloggers are allowed to do that. After all, WE'RE the ones putting ourselves out there!

The Blankoat?

Apparently, there's a recession going on, but the makers of the Snuggie would tell you otherwise.  The blanket with sleeves has so permeated the popular consciousness, that even Republicans are enjoying them (what will the oil companies do now?).

 

When this idiotic product came out, I remember that a friend of mine referred to it as the Slanket (sleeves with a blanket, maybe?).  Well, it turns out they are different products.

 

And yet... apparently the Slanket is the Betamax to the Snuggie's VHS, i.e. superior in quality but inferior in marketing.  And furthermore, neither of them were the first -- the Freedom Blanket was (it totally was called the French Blanket)!  And apparently Iceland invested heavily into this idea -- creating the Blankoat.  No wonder their economy is tanking.

Fifteen Years.

So weird to see the last vestige of NBC's Must See TV Thursday night lineup of the 1990s end.  I haven't watched ER since the 90s, but I still remember being obsessed with that show (along with Friends, Seinfeld, and every other show at 8:30pm and 9:30pm).  Waxing nostalgic recently with other people my age, it's fun that two episodes in particular always come up.

 

1. The Baby Episode.  Where Anthony Edwards tries to save Bradley Whitford's baby.  It still makes me cry.

 

2. George Clooney Saves the Kid from Drowning in the Storm Drain.  And a star was born.

 

Everyone who watched ER from the beginning knows what I'm talking about.  Just ask them.