American Idol 8: Predictions for Semi-Final Group 3.

I'm still a little giddy that my boy made it. Now the 5 of you still left reading this crap-u-blog will just have to live that much longer with my gushing. The interwebs is reporting back that this is a major upset -- which can only fuel curious onlookers to see what the hubbub is about. I'm psyched.

But the show, she goes on! And next week we have the final semis. So far, my early predictions have happily needed to be revised after the performances, and so far, I seem to be getting the top 4 correct, but I can't seem to nail down who actually takes the 3rd seat. Let's see how I do this time.

Based purely on early Hollywood rounds, and intertubes buzziness:

For the guys...

I'm gonna say that Ju-not Joyner has the early lead by a hair. He auditioned last season, has a great voice, is insanely likeable, and frankly, will get pimped by the judges to ensure a non-all-white Top 12. But this is tough, because every single one of the other five guys has had way more screen time than JJ. Still, I think that the other 5 are more polarizing -- their early screen time did them no favors.

Scott McIntyre would be a natural choice given his visual impairment (and his super hot brother, who we'd be sure to see more of if he made it through), but Scott's voice really isn't that good. Jorge Nunez would be another logical choice, but I think that he's a little (read: A LOT) spastic, and his voice is a little (read: A LOT) genre-specific. Nathaniel Marshall has had the most face time with America. Sadly for him, that's not a good thing.

I think that Duckie, I mean, Von Smith is likeable, but he hasn't been shown singing well once yet. And Alex Wagner-Trugman has to hope that people who like the Big Bang Theory (and there are a lot of them) decide to watch and vote.

For the girls...

Lil Rounds. She completes the producers evil trinity (see Charisma-less RDJ and McGuyliner). The others never had a chance.

For the third slot...

I think getting cut might just have been the best thing ever to happen to Felicia Barton because now she's known as the girl who replaced Joanna "I'm desparate to be famous no I'm not Tatiana or Gokey" Pacitti. And even better, she can sing. Her YouTube vid singing No One by Alicia Keys is amazing and getting tons of views:



If she's anywhere this good on stage, she's in. Kristen McNamara might have a pity shot for having been demonized in the early rounds by Simon, Nathaniel, and that red-headed lady. Taylor Vaifanua might have a shot if she recalls Jordin Sparks in a good way (and not Chewbacca, as VFTW would have it). Kendall Beard seems like this week's hot girl, but they've been going down in flames so far. And Arianna Afsar seems cute and has had screen time, but I think she's going to one of those "oh yeah, I remember seeing her in the early rounds I think" contestants. Being in Group 3 is definitely to her disadvantage.

So there's my pre-performance predictions: Ju'Not, Lil, and Felicia.

American Idol 8: The Second 3 Finalists, aka HOLY S***!

Kick-Awesome!!!

After some hemming and hawing, I thought that the AI machinery was going to prevail, and Megan would make it through (side note: Megan has the same bone structure as Cruella De Vil - it's not a diss, it's a fact). Little did I know that grassroots stuff isn't just for presidential elections. I'm still sort of in disbelief that my boy made it through, and from the looks of his reaction, I think he was sort of in disbelief, too.

That third slot was really up for grabs, moreso than I thought -- and so much so that no amount of pimping could over take it. Checking out the interwebs after the show, Allison was a shoe-in. Screamy McGuyliner was in easily -- but he's starting to get as much backlash as Gokey is getting, so who knows how long he'll last in the finals. But I was sensing equal buzz for Megan, Matt G., and Kris. That being said, Kris was consistently getting written up as "should advance" vs. Megan and Matt G. getting written up as "will advance."

Also, I noticed that just as Anoop was paired with Michael S. in the results show last week to up the drama, so, too, was Megan paired with Kris because she was probably fourth.

So McGuyliner of course made it (the judges even tried to pull a Tatiana v. Gokey type thing with him and Normund). And Allison, the "Vaguely Ethnic Kelly Clarkson" made it.

Matt G. "The 'G' is for my last name not GOAT" and Megan have a good chance of getting Wild Card slots, especially Megan since the judges will be inclined to even out the boy-girl ratio. So no worries there. Anoop and Ricky Braddy's chances dwindle ever so slightly with another third slot going to a boy, and Ann Marie's chances go up.

WOOT! I'm actually kinda jazzed with this season -- despite the clear cut producers' favoritism, we've had no fewer than 3 out of 6 finalists come out of the land of No-Early-Round-Screen-Time. In honor of Jason Castro, the patron saint of said contestants, enjoy a little more kick-awesomeness from Kris:

American Idol 8: The Second 12!

Here's where I posted my predictions based purely on the early rounds.

Let's start with my boy Kris. What he did right: He sang a young song that had long sustained notes to hold at the end. Kelly Clarkson once said in an interview that choosing songs with a money note like that (and hitting it) is catnip for this show. What he did wrong: He chose a fast song by a dancer. What the show did right: The judges were nice, and some of the background shots during the other songs showed Kris supporting everyone (unlike Matt G.). What the show did wrong: The footage didn't show Kris with White Chocolate, and Simon had to mention Danny again for some reason. So final verdict? It sort of depends...

Because Matt Giraud totally Anne Marie Boskovich-ed himself tonight. Talk about a fan fave who just shot himself in the foot with power ballad that dwarfed a far more intimate singer. The long notes totally gave away his awful vibrato. I'm still worried that dumb Paula's comment to judge him on earlier footage will be heeded -- and if it is, that is so f---ing unfair. Charo, I mean Paula, needs the heave-ho.

I think Jasmine also f'ed up. She has a nasal voice to begin with, and I think that showed tonight. I also think that Megan showed that her upper register notes are not very good.

So in my book, three of the favorites going in fizzled. Who benefited?

Well, Alison almost Alexis'd her way to the top, but she made a fatal AI error: SHE CHOSE A HALL OF FAME SONG. When you sing "Alone," any AI fan worth his salt recalls Carrie Underwood. Yeah, Alison was cool (and looks like Kelly Clarkson), and she sang really well, but it's not a done deal yet.

I also think that Jesse did a good job... until she started talking. Yeah, she forced Randy to put together a coherent thought in English, but man, is she abrasive and unlikeable. People who TiVo'd through the interviews to just the performances will like her... but they aren't the ones who'll be voting.

Normund is no Tatiana. But he's also no Clay. It was fun while it lasted.

And Adam did exactly what he was expected to do. And the producers did what they were expected to do by giving him the pimp-slot with the best lighting and the best camera work. And the judges did what they were expected to do by playing along. I agree with Simon: I think he's the most polarizing of the trinity, but he did enough to get his pre-AI fans to vote for him. Gah. I wanted to vomit. I wish I could undial for him.

As for the others, I couldn't tell them apart if you asked me to. Jeanine has lips. Kai looks like a constipated Sideshow Bob. Matt Breitzke was a snore (and totally lawyered by Simon). And Mishavonna apparently still thinks that leggings are cool and that songs only have one dynamic.

So again, where does that leave Kris? I wish I knew. I think that for better or for worse, Adam is in (*chunks*). I have a feeling that Alison did enough to squeeze in as the top girl. That leaves the third slot... I think that Megan might be it. But that's not a sure thing at all. If she doesn't make it, though, she can get a job as one of those wiggling hula girl toys that dance around when you press the button underneath.

NO.

Hollywood, please STOP.  The 1985 version of Clue was kick-awesome perfection.  Look, I loved Gore Verbinski's take on Pirates as much as the next loser, but don't redo this one. 

 

There's no author who disagreed with the original.  There's no new technology that would make things in 1985 that were impossible possible.  There's no one alive who's seen the original who doesn't love it to death.

 

I'm begging you not to remake it.  I'll even agree to go watch the Candyland movie if you don't redo Clue.  Seriously.

Here We Go.

Kris Allen's turn is finally up tonight.  He's been my number one pick from early on, so I've been pinning my hopes on the roughly 3 seconds of screen time he's had so far.  I'm just hoping I'm not way off with how he sings.  But from his "A Song for You" audition to his "I Want You Back" White Chocolate perf to his "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" YouTube version, I think I'm safe on that front.

 

I've been following the internet buzz this past week, and it seems like Group 2 is a toss up.  As I thought, there's a lot of Matt Giraud and Adam Lambert talk -- but they also seem to be pretty polarizing.  Matt has a goat-vibrato issue that took down Cristina Christian, Carmen Rasmusen, and Chris Daughtry in previous seasons.  And Adam is dangerously toeing that line between popular mass appeal and esoteric musical indulgence.  As I thought, Matt Breitzke doesn't have the same natural appeal as Michael Sarver, so he's out.  Kai Kalama seems to be the dark house pick for the guys. 

 

There is, however, a faint buzz coming from the Kris Allen fans.  (Very faint -- EW.com won't mention his name even in PASSING -- Michael Slezak, you're on notice!)  He's got Christian music blogs rallying to his side, and he's consistently winning polls that ask for the most attractive male contestant.  I think that people have seen enough of him to be curious to see what he does tonight.  But again, this isn't just an uphill battle -- he's climbing up a friggin' well.

 

As for the girls, Megan Corkrey and Jasmine Murray have been getting the most buzz, but that buzz has very much NOT been deafening.  I think that the girls in the Top 36 have definitely suffered from the fact that the girls who've been getting the most screen time (save Tatiana) were all cut before the Top 36 (seriously, compare the early promos for this Season, and you'll see that the early female faves aren't here, whereas the guys are).  Meanwhile, Jesse Langseth is getting the "overrated" tag already.

 

The big story that I've seen is that Allison Iraheta is rapidly gaining.  Some positive YouTube vids have been popping up.  She could pull off an Alexis Grace type coup if she's good.

Non-Live Live-Blogging the Academy Awards.

1. I gotta say, I loved the structure of the show tonight -- taking us through the production of a movie. I imagine the guy doing next year's show is wondering how the Academy didn't do this for 80 years, but they finally do it the year before he has to put together the show.
2. I don't think that Angelina Jolie is aging well.
3. Isn't Anthony Hopkins also a "sir"? And, how do you think he felt as they extolled Frank Langella's portrayal of Richard Nixon as making us forget all those who came before him... like Anthony Hopkins who played Richard Nixon.
4. So... Denzel, Forest, and Sidney were not available to be one of the Final Five presenting best actor? Whoopi, Cuba, and Halle made time in their busy schedu- hmm... maybe that's why.
5. Japanese people are sort of kicking ass tonight.
6. When a movie almost sweeps, I sort of feel bad for that one dude on the team who doesn't win. Like the makeup guys for Titanic. Tonight, it's poor sound editing guys on Slumdog.
7. I used to not really like Beyonce. I admit it. But she has absolutely grown on me, and she works it out everytime. I don't even know what that means, but it seems apt. She just needs to stop singing At Last.
8. Alicia Keys just needs to stop.
9. Even though Hugh Jackman was the "host," I think I saw Zac Efron more than him.
10. Amanda Seyfried totally tripped coming down the stairs during the musical number. Hi-Def and DVR-Rewind don't lie.
11. Did you see the acceptance speech countdown clock? It's HUGE. And it seems to start as soon as you are announced. That's why people run.
12. You know, the Slumdog guy who won for Best Score said that for each award, he says that thing in Tamil. He didn't say it again when he won Best Song. Someone's a liar.
    

Try Again, Dude.

This morning, I was walking a few steps behind a guy who was smoking a cigarette.  He flicked to the sidewalk just as he entered the gym in my neighborhood.

I Don't Get It, But I'm Voting For It.

I don't understand the California milk campaign, but I laughed at this video. Go Korea! They even spelled Soo's name the way a Korean person would in English.

What's the Matter?

It's well-known that although disgruntled is a world, gruntled is not.  Today, I used the word smattering, and it dawned on me that I'd never heard someone use smatter.  I assumed it had similarly fallen out of use.

 

I was, happily, wrong.

 

So yep, I smatter stuff.  All sorts of stuff.

Did He Know How This Would Translate In English?

From CNN.com this morning: "Iraqi Shoe Thrower: Bush's 'Soulless Smile' Set Me Off."

 

So... he thought his soles were the next best thing to fill that void?

You Go. Girl.

So, I heard about this new product on the radio.

I... I'd make fun of it, except I heard that the military uses it. And, well, you know, it's uncool to make fun of them. But, come on, this is killing me not saying anything.

Seriously. I'm just dying inside.

American Idol 8: Predictions for Semi-Final Group 2.

My boy is going next week, so the hardcore kick-awesome pimpin' starts now. Yes, yes, I risk alienating the 8 of you who actually read this blog, but if I haven't scared you off already with the obsessive American Idolness, well, then, wow, you have more patience than Samantha Ronsen around hot men.

Kris Allen is in danger of being the Ricky Braddy of this group: If he's not fantastic then the lack of screen time thus far will kill any chance he has of moving on. Given that, I think he has the best draw he could have.

For the guy pick:

Nick Mitchell (Normund Gentle) is the Tatiana of the guy world. Despite VFTW's best, they couldn't get Tatiana through, and Normund is far less interesting.

Adam Lambert is one third of the producers' trinity, and I think the weakest link. I'm not convinced he's quite as retro as he claims, and his take on Believe was awful. Of the three, I'm glad that Kris drew him, and not Danny or Lil.

Kai Kalama is one of two big guy threats. I think Kai is in the same boat as Kris in getting no screen time, and he's prolly getting the same internet roots campaign going for him that Kris does.

Matt Giraud is the other big threat. Matt has been riding this buzz of Elliott Yamin-iness and that is one potent fanbase. They got an elf all the way to third place! Granted, it was during the worst season so far, but Elliott fans love him, and if they've found another one to root for, then he's in. It might depend on what his mother looks like. I'm not being mean. Just trust me.

Matt Breitzke is not a threat. Even though he's not in Michael Sarver's group to split the vote, again of the two, I'm glad that Kris is going against him. Matt is way less charismatic, and going after Michael can only help the "haven't I seen this before" factor weigh him down.

For the girl pick:

This is interesting because only two girls really got any screen time, and I don't know why. Megan Corkrey and Jasmine Murray were blessed with cameras in their faces, but neither are all that interesting. Jesse Langseth has the honor of being the first contestant with a mugshot. I couldn't tell you who Mishavonna Henson, Allison Iraheta, or Jeanine Vailles are, and I watch this show (can't you tell?).

Based purely on the early rounds, I'd guess that Matt Giraud is the boy pick, Megan Corkrey is the girl pick, and Adam Lambert is the third pick. I think the possibilities of at least one, maybe two, Alexis Grace type performances might be in the works, though.

Kris, you have to be kick-awesome to take down Adam. You can totally do it. He has neither a sob story nor an awesome first name.

American Idol 8: The First 3 Finalists.

There's hope!

Despite my prognostication, and the general internet buzz, I had a nagging doubt about whether America would vote Alexis through. She didn't have the screen time or VFTW support of Tatiana, and she didn't have the early sweetheart vibe of Anne Marie (oh AM, are you, like, totally kicking yourself for screwing up being the pimp'd out girl in the first group? now you might not be a part of their world! i still love you, though, all purse upper lip and all). And yet -- she's through!

Sure enough, Michael and Anoop were within a tooth's skin away from each other voting-wise. 20,000 votes out of how many? Minnesotans scream bloody murder for a vote differential bigger than that! But, like the rest of us, how can Anoop stay mad at Michael for taking his dream? Especially when Anoop has to know that he's done enough to make it to the Wild Card Round.

And of course there's Danny. How funny/creepy was it that he was about to thrust Tatiana off the stage so that he could hog all the spotlight. At that moment, I actually didn't know who was more desperate to be famous. He's going to be ripped when he finds out that the producers kept the cameras on Tatiana--poor deluded Tatiana--the entire time he was singing Hero. I can't wait for the world to be over Danny. He doesn't have the aw-shucks-ness of David Archuleta to pull off riding early frontrunner status far. He reeks of holier-than-thou-even-my-glasses-are-cooler-than-you-ness. And his family is now selling out his deceased wife? I'm sorry, enough is enough. Let her rest in peace.

So there it is--Danny (Robert Downey, Jr. minus the charisma and likeability*), Alexis (the Spitfire), and Michael (the dancing polar bear).

I've read conflicting reports on who chooses the Wild Card contestants -- the judges or the producers or both. Either way, I gotta think that Anoop is in. The judges like him, and I think the producers sense they have a fanbase ready to pounce. Anne Marie might have a shot if the judges get to pick. And I'm sort of afraid that if the producers get to choose, they'll trot Tatiana out once more to humiliate with no intention of putting her through. I actually got the sense from Simon's look when they told us the good news, that he was disgusted by the blatant exploitation of this girl who clearly has SUBSCRIPTIONS of issues with her need for acceptance and validation. Simon might be the "mean" judge, but even he stopped short of fanning the flames that was the ignominy of Antonella Barba and her toilet.

*Notice: I'm not saying Danny can't sing, because he can, and I'll always recognize him appropriately for any good to great performance he has. But he hasn't earned that Aretha-style sense of self-importance, at least not on a national stage like this. So I, in the grand tradition of cowardly internet posting, am going to take him down a peg until he cries... genuinely.

American Idol 8: The First 12!

It's HERE! Oh, man. After all the crappy early rounds, and the frustrating Hollywood rounds where AI just doesn't tell you enough, the audience finally takes control. These are the ones that the judges see fit to represent the show... and be ridiculed by anonymous bloggers like myself who have nothing better to do than trash them. I mean, love them. So much to discuss: I'm getting to it, Reva!

First thoughts first: Why doesn't the AI official website have clips of the contestants from their auditions or their Hollywood performances? My goodness. Not all the songs they sung could be unclearable with the copyright gods. AI, come on, help develop the rabid fanbases that you so desperately need to reattract.

Here's my grouping of how they did tonight. Only TWO really were worthy:

• Danny Gokey. I love that Simon totally called out the producers and said that he's "not yet bought the hype." Danny was the best tonight, and he got the big pimpin' finale slot, but there's something smug about him that I don't like. It's sort of like Justin Guarini, and we know how that Sideshow Bob-wannabe turned out. Also, I don't like how creepy it is that Paula is cougar-ing all over you all the time. Make her stop.
  
• Alexis Grace. Oh man. I loved her tonight. She was like Kristin Chenoweth-lite spitfire of soul. I worry that her lack of screentime thus far will hold her back... except that the other girls tonight sucked. And that includes my early fave, Ann Marie.

I still think that the third slot is going to be taken by a guy. It's the battle of the internet vs. the heartland:

• Anoop Desai. Anoop has sung Angel of Mine before. If you search for other YouTube stuff, you'll find that Anoop is actually amazing. This is what he should have sung. I don't think enough people are that diligent, though, and his sort of meh performance tonight is buoyed only by the fact that he's gotten a lot of screentime, and he has a memorable name.
• Michael Sarver. But Michael does, too. And while his song kinda sucked, Simon is right, Michael is absolutely lovable. He dances like crap, though, but even his moves are endearingly bad. Sort of like a dancing polar bear.
  

The peloton as I see it:

• Ricky Braddy. Dude. You've had Paula rubbing herself all over you in the press. Why would you Manilow it up with that tux, and sing a song that Elliot Yamin fans hold so close to their hearts? They are already to hate Matt Giraud. You should have sidestepped that landmine.
• Ann Marie Boskovich. Blurg. This was so Miss America circa 1992... down to the outstretched arm and fingers pointing to the sky. Ann Marie looked like Jamie Lee Curtis in the hotel scene in True Lies... and not in a good way (is there a good way?). I love her even more for dissing Sara Bareilles, but she has GOT to be thanking her lucky stars that the producers gave her as much screen time as they did. But with Alexis rocking the kazbah, and at least three guys fighting for the other spots, she's in trouble.
• Brent Keith. Talk about a guy you could see in any bar south of the Mason-Dixon. Go back to Nashville.
• Tatiana Del Toro. The only thing good about having it in the Top 36 will be the screams of utter despair when it doesn't make it through. On live TV. Sweet.
• Jackie Tohn. Clown? That's being generous.
  

It's an honor just to have been nominated:

• Stephen Fowler. I can't care enough to write something snarky.
  
• Casey Carlson. Eat a hamburger.
  
• Stevie Wright. Stop trying to look like the girls from Real World / Road Rules Challenge.
  

And some thoughts going forward:

• Kara, what is up with you frenching the microphone. We can hear you and your overbite. For someone in the recording industry, you seem to have terrible microphone-awareness.
• Paula, what is up with the crying?
• Whose brilliant idea was it to make the contestant run up stairs after their critiques to get interviewed. Dead air means lost viewers.
• Whoever messed up that Brent Keith footage is so fired. In this economy, getting fired from the only sure thing that is AI is just the height of idiocy.
• I'm amazed by how much the judges have agreed with each other this season. It's especially fun when they all hate a contestant. Now (see Casey Carlson), they have to withstand four punches in the gut. (I'm impressed that Casey held back the tears like she did. Good for her.)
• Contestants, stop talking back to the judges.
• NPH, I heart you.
  

Agreement.

Last week, a co-worker happened to ask if I had any gum, and I, always the prepared one, did. I handed her a piece of Lush (not to be confused with Rain, which by the way, happens to be the most popular search that leads visitors to my blog), which she had never tasted before.

I mentioned that 5 Gum is my favorite type of gum (and I've been through several brands). I also mentioned that I came to this brand because my last one, Orbit, was evil. Without a beat,= she said: because it melted?

I. Flipped. Out.

That is exactly why I dislike Orbit. One time, I was chewing a piece of Orbit gum when I went to go see a musical. If you've never been, musicals are great, but they're long, but I figured that the gum would just get cement-ier, and I could spit it out at intermission. No biggie. But it didn't. It melted. It disintegrated. And I panicked.

I knew that if you accidentally swallowed gum, it's ok, you'd just, you know, let it pass. But this liquified stuff that was coating my mouth was like Satan's sweat. I didn't want to absorb that stuff into my bloodstream! (It turns out that my co-worker actually meant that Orbit gum had melted in her car on a hot day. Also something that gum really shouldn't do. And the interwebs agrees.)

So never will I chew Orbit again. It's just not natural, dude. But Rain, Lush, Elixir, Flare, and Cobalt... you're like chewy little pieces of angels.

Apartment Watch: Part III.

Previously, on Apartment Watch.

The roof deck is finally open. I went up to go check it out. Really not too shabby. There are a bunch of deckchairs, endtables, and a couple regular tables. It's lit for the nighttime, and there's even soft music piped in. There are no really tall buildings around mine (let alone in DC), so the view is pretty great.

Apartment complex, you done good. For now.

Idol Junkie.

So Disney is doing something or other to make more money off of American Idol. I can't keep track. All I can do is to go along with it and support AI's advertisers because I'm a mindless consumer (must drink Coke out of pretty red cups... and buy Ford). But forgetting the propaganda for a second, this photo is pretty slick. You've got the first seven winners of American Idol all together in one place.

There's Kelly, the first and best. I remember when she tried to distance herself from the show to be seen as legitimate (duh, when all it took was to be, you know, good). But her last album tanked, and she has a new one coming out in March, so why not play nicey-nice with some free publicity? I don't get why musicians try and distance themselves from Idol (see Daughtry). No one is ever going to be fooled ("oh, I thought you were a real artist, but then I found out that you got your start on Idol"). It's better than starting from a casting couch or nude photos. Plus, at this point, with megastars Carrie Underwood and Jennifer Hudson embracing their Idol roots, where's the stigma?

I also wonder what Taylor and Ruben are thinking, and if David is worrying whether a male winner can actually sustain himself post-Idol. It seems like if you're a guy, losing the contest is better than winning it (see Clay, Daughtry, and even Josh Gracin--he's sold more than Taylor and actually has a continuing career in country music).

I still think that Fantasia is the most interesting winner of them all, and I love that Jordin has actually had a bunch of hits (including the good kind with Chris Brown!). In the end, putting the winners side by side like this is cool -- there are boys, there are girls, there are different races, and different music genres represented. At least three of them--Kelly, Taylor, and David--were surprise winners (meaning that they didn't get the super-pimp treatment from the producers until the very end when the producers finally realized they were going to win). For a mainstream TV show to produce this lot is what keeps me coming back to the show.

That, and kick-awesome interviews with cool contestants like this:



It's a word. It'll catch on. I'm a dork.

So two things concern me with whether Kris will do well this season.

• First, his lack of screen time. I get that he's too normal and laid back for TV, but so is Anne Marie Boskovich -- and they made it work for her. From my incessant surfing, I get the sense that Anne Marie and Kris share a lot of fans (duh, they all have my taste in awesomeness -- oh wait, kick-awesomeness), which makes complete sense given their personalities and styles.

• Second, I found this photo, which suggests that Kris had to do a sing-off to get into the Top 36. This means that he might not have the full support of either the judges or the producers. In a season with Wild Card and producers-on-full-on-Technicolor-Dreamcoat-pimpin' mode (Lil! Adam! Danny!), that's not encouraging. Arkansans et al, you've got your work cut out for you.
  

Mail Fraud.

I occasionally get mail addressed to my brother, or my dad, or to "current resident." I don't know how these mailing lists get mixed up. No one in my family has ever lived in my present address, and even I have only been here a couple months.

Today, I got a circular addressed to "James ___." Yeah. There's no James in my family.

Spammers aren't even trying anymore. The economy really is bad.

American Idol 8: Top 36, REDUX.

First, Joanna Pacitti is GONE.

Second, I found out from the most trusted news source on the 'net that the selection process for the top 12 goes like this: the top guy, the top girl, and the highest vote-getter of the rest from each semi group moves on. And then the judges choose 3 more people to move on.

I think this is awesome. I understand that the AI producers want to keep some gender parity, but the last couple of seasons of forced equilibrium has made for some lopsided final groups (Haley Scarnato? Kristy Lee Cook?). This system seems to strike a nice balance. Plus, I like it when the judges have continued control. They may not be able to use words longer than two syllables, or applaud like human beings, but they seem to know their stuff.

So this makes things interesting for Round 1, where I thought that the top 3 were all guys. This voting system has to favor Anne Marie Boskovich. Other than Pukiana, she's had the most screen time, and if EW.com is right, she's already got a fanbase (of which I'm a member). This voting method also means Pukiana has less of a chance to make it through. It's wayyyy too early for VFTW and similar naysayers to rally enough support to focus a big vote on her. Maybe if Anne Marie and two or three other popular girls were in the group, the vote would split enough for SadlyDeludedGirl to get through, but as of now, I don't think it'll happen. (Pray?)

I think that the guys will also be an easy call now. Either Danny or Anoop will be the top guy, and then the other one will get the third spot. I think that the stiffest competition would come from Michael or Brent, but Michael and Brent are going to split a fanbase.

And third, Felicia Barton is replacing Barton. Felicia was in the same montage that introduced Kris Allen. You know what that means. Yup, I'm awesome.

American Idol 8: The Top 36.

GAH! I get that American Idol is as much a TV show as it is a singing "competition," so the judges and the producers will choose a combination of singers who get by on merit and so-so singers who get by on telegenic stories. You can just feel the producers slapping each other on the backs for creating the first buzzworthy moment of the season: Tatiana and Norman get through, while Danny and Jamar's bromance comes to an end.*

Yup, a quick run around the 'net (I'm that fast) confirms that this is the case.

So now we have the Top 36, and like season 2, we're gonna get 3 rounds of 12. It's unclear how many from each round will proceed (3? 4? room for a wild card? or a couple?) to the finals. Is it a top 10? Or a top 12? Or something zanier! (like sing-offs!)

But more on that later. I have to get something off my chest. If the two blue-collar workers were the last two to be called to the judges, how did they not count up by that time that only 34 people had been chosen, and that they were both in? How? Someone in that group had to have been keeping track. Sigh. AI thinks it's so clever. You izain't.

Back to the first semis: they are stacked. And I'm not even talking about good singers. I'm talking about personalities that the producers have been pimping out from the beginning. Here's my take:

• Danny Gokey (part 1 of the holy producer trinity) is a shoe-in. Any vote splitting between him and Jamar is yesterday's news, now that they can meld their fanbases into one big shout for second place... er, I mean first ('cuz early favorites like Archie and Tamyra always...).
  
• Anoop Desai. AI's mea culpa for inflicting the pony-hawk on us. You can just imagine some eyebrow threading and a decent 'cut going a long way.
• Michael Sarver. He's the polite teddy bear, a la Ruben, and we know how that turned out. I think he's going to play very well on TV.

I think those three are the ones to beat. But wait, there's more:

• My pick for the XYs is Anne Marie Boskovich. She's a bit too demure and normal, but she's way talented.
• Brent Keith. The dude is hot. It'll be interesting to see if his country-vibe splits votes with Michael, who I think will be more popular by virture of the airtime he's had, but based on looks, Brent has a solid shot.
• Casey Carlson. Gents, google her. You're welcome.
• Tatiana Pukey Puke Puke. Oh man. She's VotefortheWorst catnip. I don't think that website has as much power as it likes to think it does, especially after last year where their "new" choice kept losing (seriously, it's not fair to keep changing the "worst" -- then you're never wrong -- have some balls people and stick with a pony to the end). But in these early rounds where vote concentration matters, she might have a shot.

So the rest don't have a shot. They have had minimal screen time -- although I get the sense that Jackie Tohn or Alexis Grace might be memorable enough to sneak on through if their performances rock.

It's a stacked group. But then, so might be the other groups.

• My guess is that Lil Rounds and Adam Lambert will be spread out to the other two groups (thus completing the trinity, and increasing the producers' chances of getting what they want).
  
• My boy Kris Allen made it (and how awesome was it that (1) he just smirked all cool like in front of the judges but hugged his pappy like there was no tomorrow and that (2) both his results and his end montage were smooshed with Anne Marie's? it's like I'm awesome or something!).
  
• I'm curious how Joanna Pacitti will do. She's controversial, having had a record deal, and oh, you know, forgetting her lyrics in every single song she sang.
• Kristin MacNamara is going to get some sympathy votes for enduring a crap group Simon calling her ugly on national TV.
  
• Matt Giraud is going to do great -- people underestimate how many fans there are of Elliott Yamin-types.
• Jorge Nunez is going to tickle some people -- both in a good way and in a bad way.
  
• And Von? There's something duckie about him. I think it's resonating, despite the crap he belts out.

It's this time of year that I start checking out one particular piece of awesomeness more often, and that's Rickey.org, which, if you can believe it, is more of an AI freak than yours truly.

*According to Grammar Girl, the best person in the world, my usage of the apostrophe is correct here. The bromance is shared by Danny and Jamar, so only one apostrophe is needed. If I were (subjunctive alert!) referring to two different bromances, respectively belonging to Danny and Jamar, then I would have written Danny's and Jamar's bromances. Sigh. Grammar is so sexy.

Rough Sports Time.

Sigh.

1. The Celtics's streak was again ended by the Lakers, and the Spurs beat them.
2. The Sharks beat the Bruins.
3. Duke got crushed by UNC tonight.
4. Roger lost the Australian to Rafa.
5. I never thought I'd say this: I think A-Rod is being unfairly targeted (although, I guess it is sort of a fruit of a poisonous tree type thing -- but still, having watched Bigger Stronger Faster*, I'm not so quick to judge -- wow I digress easily).
6. Michael Phelps... oh wait, he's always been a douche.

Mary Carillo Does Tennis and . . . Dogs.

In addition to a call name, dogs get a registered name, which the Westminster Kennel Club limits to seven words or less.

The worst thing about all this is the realization that Best in Show wasn't a brilliant satire; it's basically a straightup documentary.

Uno, aka K-Run's Park Me in First.

Seriously.

It's Time to Play the Music.

Awesome story on CNN.  That's the kind of news I like reading about.  I never knew that Miss Piggy had such a trying childhood.  It makes sense though.  Textbook.

I must own a muppet.

EDIT: I caved.  In 3-4 weeks my awesomeness will increase exponentially.

SpeedBerry.

My BlackBerry recharges its battery way faster than either my iPod or my cell phone.

Indulge Me.

Fringe has been really good.  They have the mystery-of-the-week thing down pat, and now they're trying to branch out the mythology without cluttering up the place like J.J. did with Lost.  The best new development is the evolving backstory of Pacey, I mean... actually I don't know what Joshua Jackson's character's name is on the show.  I just think Pacey with the skinny legs and big thumbs (seriously, look closely).

A big plus for me is that it's set in Massachusetts.  Not just Boston, but all over Massachusetts, and it's fun for me to see what shots they use for different places, like Acton and Brighton.  Recently, they had a scene in Springfield, which is such a craphole -- and where I was begat!  And then it turns out that Olivia lives on the same street as a friend of mine, except that they call it a boulevard on the show instead of a road, and they say she lives in the 1000s block when that block totally doesn't exist.  Hah.

Yeah, some geek out on inconsistencies between episode 17 and episode 342 of a sci-fi series.  I geek out over the close-but-not-quite references to Massachusetts on a sci-fi series.

EDIT: Major shout-out to Kirk Acevedo.  He's quickly become a grounding presence in the show, toeing the line between the urban police drama portion of the show and the suspension of belief science.  I'd hate to lose him from Fringe, but the guy needs to be a lead on an ensemble drama somewhere.

My Horses.

Hollywood Week was a blood bath for all the interesting women who were promoted by American Idol.  Rose Flack, Deanna Brown, Emily Wynne-Hughes... all gone.  So we move on.

I've been obsessed with this group performance from Day 2:

They were the first to go, which is always tough.  But it gave us a better intro to Kris Allen (the one in the argyle), who is my fave guy so far.  He only had this itty-bitty intro:

Here's a longer interview:

A quick Google search is showing that Matt Giraud, the first singer, is getting all the buzz because of his Elliott Yamin-iness.  Forget that Justin dude; he's awful (and he's the voice teacher!).  And India... I think she really did forget her lines but covered it up with a slick rap.  That and she's clearly limping.  I had to look her up -- she's the one who auditioned with her much, um, sturdier sister, and, yup, she was on crutches but she also saaaang.  She's not just a one-rap pony.  I'm keeping my eye on her.

Still, my fave girl still left in the mix is Anne Marie Boskovich.  She's the one who remembered seeing Kara sing a song at in Nashville.  



Kara's website gives a shout-out to Anne Marie for the quick plug, although, come on Kara, I won't make fun of your (massive) overbite if you manage to spell Anne Marie's name correctly.  Jebus.  You get all up in people's grilles when they say Kah-rah instead of Care-ah.  Anyway, Kara goes on to sing the song, and frankly, it's actually really good.  It starts around the 3:30 mark.  (The other crap is them gushing about Nick Lachey and David Archuleta.  I know, right?):

Whatever.  Archie's adorable.

The Truth About Twilight: Part III.

It sucks.

Even I hate it.

I'm like half way through, and I just can't go on.

I have a high tolerance for crap.

This leaps over that in a single bound.

Puke.

Part II was here.

The Buck Stopped.

I'm too lazy to link to stuff properly.  So just take it from me when you read this entry five years from now that President Obama has been having issues with getting his cabinet appointees confirmed.  Oh, you know, because they don't pay taxes properly.  (Honestly, who does?  The tax code is friggin' nutso.)

But what's amazing is that Obama has said flat out: "I screwed up."  Gone are the days of "mistakes were made" and other passive-voice horrors.  I can't believe that a politician in this age of media soundbites would actually take responsibility for an error, let alone one that really isn't his fault so much as it is the fault of the ones being appointed.

I'm not saying that this makes him a good president necessarily.  Duh, of course I'd prefer a president who never needs to apologize for a screw-up.  But, setting aside that fantasy along with flying pigs and Colin Farrell knocking on my door to say hi, I think it shows a depth of character that is all too rare amongst our public figures.  

It's a little thing, but it means a lot to me.

A Year.

Weird, I've had this blog now for just a little over a year.

With that, and the afternoon gassiness, and the grunting when getting up from a seated position, and the extra-fast growing nose hair, and the drinking of white wine because red wine gives me a headache, and the reasonable bed time... I'm feeling old.

American Idol, Season 8!

I'm obsessed with American Idol.  Ever since Season 1, when I called that Kelly Clarkson was going to be in the final (granted -- I thought it would be against Tamyra Gray, not Justin Guarini -- but who's keeping track?), I've been on a rampage.  I've posted to chat rooms, I've read recaps, and yes, I've even voted (just once -- and you won't be able to guess for whom).

I'm not crazy about the audition rounds.  At this point, I feel like the crappy singers are doing it just to get on TV.  At least in the first few seasons, there were some genuinely deluded singers -- and it was especially fun to see the audience not know what to do with itself with them (see Jim Verraros and William Hung).  But now, like, Sanjaya's and Bikini Girls and Picklers are getting famous for no good reason.  Well, anyway, that's why I'm saving the blogging until now.

Hollywood Week eps 1 and 2 have now aired.  Reason #1 I love this part?  It's the only part where Paula actually takes her job seriously.  She tells people when they're bad, and she tells people when they're actually good, and not just pretty.  It's a week where the judges aren't playing for the camera, and you finally get to see why they are judges.

Reason #2?  The group day!  The.  Best.  Drama.  Ever.  So many self-righteous people who TOTALLY throw stones from deep within their glass houses show just how ugly their souls are.  It's awesome.  

Reason #3?  This is where you start to separate the wheat from the chaff.  I'm totally digging Kris Allen this season.  I like Danny Gokey and his bromance with what's his name, but I'm thinking they're peaking too early.  Those singers almost never win (see Tamyra, David Archuleta, Melinda Doolittle).  The winners are almost always ones who grow somehow over the course of the season.  A bunch of the really memorable girls (i.e., the ones with tattoos and piercings) got cut.

Yeah, I could write about this stuff forever.  I can't wait for the rest of the season.

North Carolina: 1, Northeast: 0.

I just got a phone call from the apartment complex that I lived in during law school in North Carolina. They were letting me know that I received a piece of mail from the North Carolina DMV regarding a license renewal (turns out it's not relevant since I changed over to Massachusetts). It's been almost nine months since I moved out, and they are still watching out for me. Moreover, it's a complex that houses a lot of students, so there is a LOT of junk mail and other flotsam that still gets sent their two, sometimes three tenants afterward. Not easy to pick out the important stuff, let alone care enough to call. That's loyalty, dude.

That would never happen in the northeast. If anything, someone would have stolen my identity and gone on a motorcycle equipment buying spree* with my license. Color me impressed, South, and that's not easy.

*Actually has happened with one of my credit cards.

Why Lost Gets On My Nerves.

After the debacle that was season 3, I almost gave up on Lost, Heroes-style. But then came the news that the producers were setting a specific end date, which meant that they wouldn't have to unnecessarily prolong dumb side stories. Instead, they could refocus on the core mythology and--even better-refocus on the core characters (seriously, Sun is friggin' awesome).

I just finished watching my DVR'd episode of the season 5 premiere, and while it was good, it still fell prey 3 times to the crappy writing that made me such a skeptic that the producers knew what they were doing. Here's a generic example:

Person 1: What's going on?

Person 2: There's no time to tell you!

Person 1: You WILL tell me!

Person 2: Don't you get it? There's no time!

This happened two and a half times in the premiere. Which is down from a gajabillion in season 3. This is what I hate about the show. It's flat out careless writing. At first, I gave the show the benefit of the doubt that they were just being careful about revealing too much, but after episode after episode of the same motif, I finally realized that the producers had no idea what they were doing. They were just feeding strands to the viewers to keep us coming back, but they rarely, if ever actually resolve these threads (remember the polar bear?). It's the equivalent of a TV Ponzi scheme.

I'll admit that season 4 made up a LOT of goodwill that had been, ahem, lost, especially that episode where Desmond has to find Penny twice. For now, I stick with the show because I've invested so much time into it already, and there have been several other shows that I dropped midway only to find out that their last season kicked ass so I of course had to go back and wade through all the crappy seasons to get to the halfway decent end because I'm an insane completist when it comes to TV shows. (Best. Run-on. Sentence. Ever.) You know, like Alias and Angel.

You're on notice, though, Lost. I dropped Heroes, and I'm fairly certain that show will never right itself again (I mean, the first season kinda blew anyway -- I just watched it because I'm a geek). But don't think I won't snap you in two the same way.