Tuesday, April 6, 2010

AI9: The Top 9 Rehash a Theme. Again.

Hey there Comcast, thanks for not recording AI for me. [Editor's note: Reva's Comcast also screwed up. Way to go, Cable.] If it weren't for Rickey and MJ, I wouldn't know what happened in the first half hour. And yet ... this season ... there was a part of me that didn't care at all. Like, so I missed ... something. Wow, I really have no attachment to anyone on this season.

So, I missed a half hour, and wouldn't you know it... only two people have sung. Are you kidding me? You really need another reason for me to hate this season?

1. Aaron. Long and Winding Road.
Aaron pretends to be David Archuleta. If Archie sang with a country twang, out-of-tune, and jebus - out. of. tune. So, you know those swaybots -- does anyone ever do that at real concerts? Snore. My mind is spacing. Even that last "glory note" was boring. Sigh. Moving on.

2. Katie. Let It Be.
Excuse me for a second. Katie, dear. Did you not just see Kris Allen sing this song brilliantly for Haiti? Ugh. I bet either Simon doesn't acknowledge that or Kara says that Adam sang it. Well... okay, now. Ms. Pageant eighty-year-old teenager is sort of doing okay. When Katie crinkles her forehead, it looks like she has a unibrow. I'll be honest: That was the first time that I saw that Katie has potential. Not to win, mind you, but at least deserving of being in the finals.

3. Andrew. Can't Buy Me Love.
Remember the movie where Patrick Dempsey essentially bought a prostitute? I basically spaced out during Andrew's uninspiring perf to think about that movie. Andrew wasn't bad, but there was nothing about it that made me want to hear more.

4. Mike. Eleanor Rigby.
Dude. Sigh. He's singing a David Cook song. Just come on. And his family used to call themselves the "Lynche Mob"? Uhm. Awk--wwaaard. Anyone else with me on that one? All this is making me think of is that I miss David v. David. Mike is making this like some weird Miami Soundmachine 80's retro thing. And I don't like it. This song should be DRAMA. Just a wall of sound. And Mike makes it all laser-y pow pow. That's not a good thing.

Do you think that they hate the backstage cam because it forces everyone to hug each other? Like, what if you don't like someone? Or if someone smells bad? Or if someone is creepily handzy?

5. Crystal. Come Together.
Okay, Crystal, you're treading on thin ice by picking a Kris Allen song. I forgive you for two reasons: Kris kinda did terrible on this one, and you're kinda one of the only songtestants I care about this season. Digiridoo!!! (sp?) I don't know, but that's AWESOME. Niice. That little curl of the words at the end of the first line was so sexy. Hey, Carly Smithson, watch and learn. That's right. Mamasox, she of the disgusting dreaded hair, can pull off sexy because she knows how to infuse a single word with layers. Kind of a rough ending, and it seemed like CB was lost a few times, but we'll chalk it up to her being Phoebe sick.

6. Tim. All My Lovin'.
His hair is consuming him. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. So... like, yeah, this is in tune. And, like, it's pleasanzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Zzzz. Snuh? This is just boring. I can't believe that this dude gets a minute and a half of airtime each week.

7. Casey. Jealous Guy.
LOLZ! Synergy! Angel and Zooey have been trotted out! Bare with me a sec -- does anyone else really like Andrew and Lee in these dish-about-the-other-contestants interviews? Touche, Egghead Latin Gokey, for you are sort of likeable. (Lee, well done, as expected.) I like this stripped down performance, but it has the drawback of exposing some weakness in Casey's voice itself. Namely: his lamb-vibrato. It's like that crap that Matt Giraud tried pulling on us last season (that Evil Gokey made fun of -- that b____).

8. Siobhan. Across the Universe.
I love Siobhan's hair. There. I said it. Hmm... Siobhan's sort of playing loosey goosey with the tempo. And when it's slow... it's a touch too slow. I totally get what she was going for with this version. I don't think it was exactly successful. Oh... dramatic close-up of Siobhan with tears. I don't think that Simon was expecting such a sincere, earnest answer. You could tell he had to backtrack and play nice.

9. Lee. Hey Jude.
First impression? Lee is dressed in the same, cazh, relaxed, loosened tie on suit outfit that Kris rocked last year during this night. Not a bad playbook to crib from. Lolz, they are making fun of the bromance! A Danny Gokey reference! Clapper joke! Holy carp, Lee really is stealing from Kris. Is Lee actually smiling? And now he's side-mouth singing Kris Allen style... this is creepy. W. T. F. SHARK JUMPED. BAG-F***ING-PIPES. Well. There's something Kris didn't do. Huge crowd reac. Mama-Sox has got competition. I'm so glad that Lee just owned it with the bagpipe. Sweet.

Best: Katie (where am I? did I just put her first?), Lee (for owning the bagpipe decision 100%).
Okay: Crystal, Siobhan, Casey, Mike, Andrew.
Worst: Aaron, Tim.
Bottom three: Aaron, Tim, and Andrew.
Bottom two: Aaron and Tim.
Going home: Tim.

Yup, I think this is the end of the road for Tim. [Editor's note: Apparently the judge's liked him -- I still think he's going home.]

2 comments:

Dixie Joy said...

So what do you think of the save?? Heh.

Andy said...

Save was stupid. The idea of the Save was flawed from its inception. Of the reasons given for it, two wouldn't have been helped because they finished too high (Tamyra and Daughtry) and one wasn't a big deal (Michael Johns). Only Jennifer Hudson was a legit person to be saved -- but I think even for that people are misremembering her presence on the show. J. Hud. wasn't one of the frontrunners during S3 -- we only talk about her being a save candidate because she's had such an amazing post-AI life.

Mike is absolutely not worthy of the save.