Gotta lotta stuffa toa doa, so we're actually live-blogging tonight. Like, live live-blogging, as opposed to non-live live-blogging that I'm so fond of!
7:58 - I've already set up Fringe to record 10 minutes long so that I can get both AI and Fringe DVRd.
8:01 - It's unclear. Do the votes from last week get added to this week's to determine the two people going home? Or is it just the two lowest for this week? They should explain that. Also, epileptics in the audience: avert your eyes.
8:03 - Kris is dressed like Simon. Except hotter. And Adam went sans makeup. Good on him. Lil Rounds comes busting out of the gate with some Chaka. I think that Lil is better uptempo. Randy says that it doesn't show Lil's vocal control. Prolly because she doesn't have any. The judges just ran over her with an 18-wheel bus. Now they are throwing little mini-buses at her. And now Ryan is setting her up by forcing her to talk back to the judges, thus bringing out the part of her America dislikes. Awkward.
8:12 - Kris Allen is singing "She Works Hard For the Money." It's a "story about a woman" so it has something to say. Ryan can't keep his hands off him. We can hear him play the guitar!!!!!!!!! That was such a slick remix. (Take off your shirt.) Randy's upset because Kara's going first. The judges are finally gushing over him. Hey judges, read my blog, and you'll find out that people--awesome people no less--have known that Kris is awesome since the beginning. Since before the beginning. I'm happy that you're finally on the bandwagon, the more the merrier, but you best respeck and recognize who built this bandwagon. Werz.
8:23 - Evil Gokey just shouted at us. Someone needs some fiber. Why does it always seem like Danny's microphone is smaller than everyone else's? He dances like every white boy I know. I'm unclear how this isn't as karaoke as Lil's. Randy looks like a sunrise. A big sunrise. A very very big sunrise. Simon just dipped his toes in the water of criticizing the Evilness. Oh YEEEEAAAHHH!!!!! Take that Paula's Prediction of the Finals!
8:23 - Allison Iraheta is wearing one of the super speedos that Michael Phelps wore when he was high, I mean, breaking world records. That suit that takes 20 minutes just to get into. I feel like she finished the song before the band did. But that was great. I think that Paula hired a speechwriter this season, everything is so canned. I'm imagining her learning her lines from index cards with the script spelled out fo-net-ick-lee (<--- hugs to whoever gets the ref!). I think that Allison in those heels is taller than Kris.
8:35 - I'm uncomfortable with the Burger King singing about SpongeBob's butt.
8:36 - The Glambert is going to connect to something emotionally. A tiny snake is eating his pinky! Wow, with this lighting, McFly is gonna disappear if his parents don't kiss. But seriously, that was amazing. Paula's in squiggle-vision. I agree with Paula that he's fascinating. And I agree that Adam melted Paula into the whatever chemicals currently compose her body. Glambo just gave a shout-out to the arranger, thus saving a Daughtry/David Cook sniffle of taking credit where it isn't due. Oh, he's working this game to win. I'd be friggin' thrilled with a Glambake v. K-Sizzle finale.
8:46 - Matt Giraud is staying alive despite America twice--TWICE--kicking him off the show. Hey, Jennifer Hudson's doppelG is wearing Phelps's speedo, too! And trying to step into Goatie's spotlight. Uh oh, Matt's groupie just name-dropped Glamdunk. Simon is finally getting back to his Weakest Link roots and going all "mean Brit harumph!" on him. I think the best thing about Matt wearing hats is that it hides his secret unicorn power. And now with the cutaway shot, Anoop has some shmutz on his chin.
8:55 - Anoop Desai, my UNC friend, you need less hair. Not more. Instead of the 5'o clock shadow (which likes an 8'o clock mistake), pluck the brow. Oof, I was going to say good until that last note. Randy is such an idiot. "You can sing." No s--- Sherlock. Paula just called it "the growth." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I love it that Simon is going rogue. Finally. I knew things were weird this season with Paula being all "astute" and Randy being, no well, he's always special.
9:00 - Allison pronounces "baby" as "paby." And my DVR cuts off on Anoop's playback.
Dear Gut, whattya say?
Adam and Kris gave me fuzzies.
Allison is a solid three.
Anoop managed to be an Indian Brian McKnight... sort of.
Lil. Danny. Matt. The worst.
But will Danny be in the bottom? With that applause? Sigh. I wish.
I guess Anoop, Lil, and Matt will be in the bottom. With Lil and Matt going home.
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