AI9: The Top 10 Usher Ushers Some Terrible Singers.

I'm going to just brain dump today, because I needs it:

• Usher's head has a funny shape to it. It's like a wasabi pea.
• Indoor sunglasses are stupid. And makes me think you're tweaking.
• Raymond v. Raymond = Usher's I Am . . . Sasha Fierce = Reason he's slumming it on AI.
• Siobhan just laid down another "wicked." Pissa!
• Siobhan, the Greek haircut, the ski boots, the bum notes. Oh, it's all atroshe. I gotta say, first major stumble for the presumptive silver medallist.
• This backstage cam is awful. Don't ever do that again.
• Casey looks like he's boring Usher.
• Casey is reminding me of a white Ray Charles who can see. You know, that herky-jerky dance Ray Ray do- well, Casey's doing it, too. Not bad, Casey.
• STOP WITH THIS BACKSTAGE CAM. So awkward.
• Big Mike just got Usher to make googly eyes at America. Thanks Mike. I'm going to have nightmares of wasabi peas giving me the death stare tonight.
• I'm not a fan of India.Arie generally, but this song fits Mike well. It helps him strip away the cheese.
• Did you see that middle-aged dude do the Swaybot? Oh, he'll never live that down at the office tomorrow.
• Whenever they show Mike's family, do you wonder who's babysitting? Isn't it kinda earl-eye to be leaving baby at home with a stranger?
• Didi did not impress Usher. You can tell. And Didi cries again! Usher just did a one-armed hug. Ooh, I feel like that's a major diss. Didi diddid get dissdissed.
• I would have done a really sleek coif on Didi. Not that wavy thing. I really think that's what did her in. Well, that and the terrible singing.
• Tim is having fun! Yay! FUN! Let's say fun again, Tim. You have 30 million, I mean, fewer watchers than Dancing With the Stars. But as long as YOU'RE having fun. Not us.
• Oh! Tim's pretending to be straight! That's so fun!
• If you listened to Usher's comments carefully -- he never actually praises Tim. Nice.
• It's funny that Tim pretends to be straight while wearing that drag queen wig. FUN!
• You know what else is funny? That the judges thought Tim should have been anywhere near the finals. I think Simon was sticking a hot poker into his right eye in that shot. Even Tim's friends can't fake it.
• Tim is just wasting time.
• Andrew . . . OMG! Ryan just touched Ellen's boob! I, I, I don't even know what that means.
• "I feel like this moment was very important for him." -- Usher describing Andrew meeting Usher.
• He's reaching back into his Straight Up playbook -- and you know, it actually kinda works for this song. I'm always a big fan of violins. And songs with phrasing that vocally limited gherkins like Andrew can speak-sing. Ethnic Gokey is back! I don't know if that's a good thing.
• Slezak put it best I think: the Ford commercials with Krissy Poo are the best part of this show.
• Katie chose to sing a song sung waaaaayyyyy too much on this show. You know how nice it was to have Casey sing a new song? And Andrew? Well, leave it to Katie to destroy that. Much like how she and all the other "singers" are destroying my love for AI. (Save me Bowsersock! Help me DD! Whisper sweet nuttin's Lee Dewickywoo!)
• Ugh, Katie is somehow making Chain of Fools into the whitest song ever. So, well, I guess that's a talent.
• BO BICE SIGHTING!!! Bo knows Moe's.
• Lee. Oh, LeeLee Dewyzieski. Looks like a young Helen Hunt. Lee just made Usher smile. USHER JUST SAID WOW. I told you he's awesome.
• "Treat Her Like a Lady." I think Lee thinks too much about the song while he sings it. If he can break that -- break through, I think he can beat Bowserboobs for the win. I'm dead serious.
• And now Simon is noting that there's some pain -- "something happened" -- with Lee. But that tonight, Lee might have won the competition tonight. I love Simon's comment. He just got Lee a whole crapton of new votes. What did I tell you? Great minds, people, great minds. Even if I have better fashion sense than Simon.
• I want to be that guitar pick.
• Crystal is wearing stileh-ohs. Hott. Awwwww.... she's sitting down. Boo.
• Usher is blown away. I kinda like Usher as a mentor. Even if he's phoning it in.
• Ooh, now he's standing. She does not look comfy in heels.
• Randy just name-dropped Gladys Knight.
• Crystal has to stop talking back to Simon. Simon loves herr. She's got to use that.
• NO. NO. NO.
• Aaron is doing "Ain't No Sunshine." This is a Kris Allen signature song. And this is Lee's audition song. Aaron is not allowed to desecrate it. And he is. BLECH.
• First, objectively, he's sharp. He can't find the pitch.
• Second, he's got a teardrop haircut.
• This is el terriblay.
• Just feels disingenuous.
• I need to go watch Kris's perf last year to make me feel better.
• Tepid response.

Best: Lee. Mike.
Okay: Casey. Crystal. Andrew.
Worst: Aaron. Siobhan(!). Katie. Tim.
Bottom three: Katie, Tim, and . . . Aaron.
Going home: Katie.