Breaking Down the American Idol 8 Finale.

Sorry (not really), but around these parts, it's all Idol all the time, until the AI finale that is Kradam. I'm totally at ease now that the Kris-In-Shining-Armor slayed the Evil Gokey. So comparing K-Siz to the Glam Chop is just for fun. Seriously. I really don't care who wins. This is the finale that I wanted. Because I have no life, I'm going to analyze the dynamic duo's seasons. You can totally Youtube any of these. Or buy Kris's chosen brand of jeans.

Kris Allen's Set List Over the Season.

The "Moments" (e.g., Carrie Underwood's Alone; Fantasia's Summertime)

• Ain't No Sunshine. Kris took to the piano for the first time, showing that even if he doesn't have a lot of vocal training, he does have a lot of musical training. The performance is the opposite of bombaste, playing directly into Kris's snuggily zone -- where other's might hold a glory note, Kris underplays it. Goosebumps abound.
• Heartless. Kris's last stand against the Evil Gokey.

The Good Stuff (e.g., David Cook's Always Be My Baby; Kelly Clarkson's Natural Woman)

• To Make You Feel My Love. Kris just sings. And Simon finally acknowledges that Kris exists.
• How Sweet It Is. Kris hits a high A and shows us that James Taylor should never cover Marvin Gaye again.
• She Works Hard For the Money. Wherein Disco could eat it.
• Man In the Mirror. Kris went from cannon fodder to contender in one swell foop!
• Falling Slowly. Mea culpa: I can't stop listening to Falling Slowly. I didn't like the live performance. It left me cold. But my big criticism is that the song itself needs time to build, and the studio version allows that. But even better, Kris actually takes advantage of that extended time.

The Stuff That Made Me Worry About Our Chickpea (e.g., Tamyra Gray's New Attitude; Jennifer Hudson's wardrobe)

• All She Wants to Do Is Dance. Wherein the Swaybots try and absorb Kris's life force!
  
• Apologize. Kris's falsetto is okay, but it'll never stand up to Adam's or his own chest voice.
  
• Renegade. Evil Gokey didn't bother engaging Kris, and Simon had the audacity to support Evil afterwards. Not cool.
  
• The Way You Look Tonight. Kris looks like he should be suave, but he isn't. He's a dork. And it kinda showed when he tried to be all Rat Packy.
  

The Stuff I Can't Remember Clearly Enough To Comment On (e.g., umm...)

• Come Together.
• Do You Remember.
  

Adam Lambert's Set List Over the Season.

The "Moments."

• Mad World. The second time Adam stripped it down, and sat on the magical glowing toilet. This was cut-off in the infamous debacle of AI running over time by a million minutes into Fringe. But it was so good that everyone--EVERYONE--still watched it afterwards. I prefer Tracks, but this is the one people still talk about.
• The Tracks of My Tears. The first time that Adam "cleaned" himself up to look like a cross between an unopened Ken Doll and a lesbian in male-drag (google Lea DeLaria for more), Adam showed that he can be as convincingly subtle as he is over-the-top.
  
• Slow Ride. The only uptempo song where I thought Adam was truly authentic. His willingness to share the stage with Allison actually made him stand out all the more. True stars don't force it (see Evil Gokey); they just are.
  

The Good Stuff.

• Black or White. Adam, Kris, and Evil all took on "message" songs at some points in the season, and I thought that only Adam and Kris made them sound poppy and not preachy.
  
• Ring of Fire. Some people hated it, but Adam showed us that he wouldn't compromise. This is to Adam what "She Works Hard for the Money" was to Kris. High marks.
  
• Feeling Good. Adam's smirks works.
  
• Whole Lotta Love. Not bad, Glambo, not bad.
  
• I Can't Get No Satisfaction. Adam always teeters between genuine glam rock and overly stylized Broadway rock -- which is scary and fascinating at the same time. This is the prototypical Glambert song. Think Kelly Clarkson singing Respect.
  
• Cryin'. Adam's big middle finger to Evil Gokey was worth every screech.
  

The Stuff That Made Me Worry About Our Little Princess.

• Play that Funky Music. So on iTunes downloads night, where the contestants could basically choose anything that isn't Metallica or Kid Rock, Adam chose this song. To show us that he's current? It made me wonder whether Adam could only thrive on hyper-stylized music genres.
  
• Born to Be Wild. Same thing here.
  
• One. This is a f'ing brilliant song choice from Simon. There are so many interpretations that can be taken with it... except for the one that Adam took. Simon teed up this meatball for Adam to make The Moment of Moments... and he punted.
  

The Stuff I Can't Remember Clearly Enough To Comment On.

• If I Can't Have You.

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I think that Adam has had the stronger, more compelling season. But he's way more polarizing than Kris. I personally like Kris a whole lot better. The difference is simply a matter of taste.

All in all, this is such an awesome finale: Kris, the laid-back cannon-fodder-that-could Mraz-esque wunderkind vs. Adam, an original member of the Producer's Unholy Trinity-turned-genuinely likeable Bowie-esque flaming star.

What the hell am I going to write about once it's all over?