Sunday, February 21, 2010

AI9: The Top 24 -- Girls Edition.

This is it, ladies and germs, the semi-finals of AI. This is the round that gave us Kradison, and where it first became clear last season that the producers no longer are even trying to hide the fact that they want us to vote a very specific way.

So we're back to the top 24 thing where they shave people off two by two. I don't know that I like this better than the top 30 or top 36 format. There's something way more dramatic of having to really be the best to get into the finals. Doing the semis in the same style takes away from the Survivor-ness that is so cool about the finals. Others will disagree -- the main argument is that this allows the audience to get to know all the contestants better. But I contend that after seasons 1, 2, 3, and 8, the top 30/36 format is superior.

Anyway, here's the womyns for this week, with my thoughts. And remember, I picked Kelly and Kris before they were famous, so I'm smrt.

Ashley Rodriguez
She reminds me of Guy Smiley from Sesame Street. I'll wait while you Google. It's the ginormous fivehead. Am I right? Yeah.

Crystal Bowersox
My hope is that just as they turned Clay Aiken into a halfway presentable foetus, they can pin C.B. down with some Crest Whitestrips and spit-shine this piece of silver. This one is one to watch out for. Buzz is huge.

Didi Benami
The One Who Cried. And the one who sang a Kara song. NoBo aside, Kara isn't a bad songwriter, so it's not terrible that she chose this route. But the last time I got my hopes up over a sweet singer like this, it turned out she sucked (Hi Anne Marie Boskovich!), and before that, it turned out she had an attitude (Hi Brooke White!). I like her, but I'm not holding my breath.

Haeley Vaughn
I.e., the black Taylor Swift. That's not a good thing.

Janell Wheeler
Now this one is the spitting image of Amber Heard, who's a natural actress, but completely devoid of charisma. We're talking, like, hole-in-the-ozone layer dull. Like, Bill Pullman dull.

Katelyn Epperly
Here's something interesting. I pointed out Katelyn as one of my favorites from the audition episodes. And then a week later, I gave her props again -- thinking that I didn't remember her. This basically is proof that she's forgettable. Or does it prove that I like her so much that I want to vote twice for her, Kris Allen style? I get the sense that she's the pretty girl that you hate because she's actually nice, and you want to stab her for being on the receiving end of Gifts from Both Hands.

Katie Stevens
One of the producers unholy chosen ones. As a result, I immediately don't like her. Will she turn out to be a Gokey douche? Or a Lil gonna-cut-a-hoe? Or an Adam okay-I begrudgingly-like-you? We'll see. But I don't have high hopes based on what I've seen.

Lacey Brown
FOR THE WIN. There is something about this girl. I've said it before -- there is something special here.

Lilly Scott
Who?

Michelle Delamour
Who?

Paige Miles
Who? Actually, in this case, I do want to know. Simon off the cuff said that she's good. Now, we've heard that before. Simon is the one who cho-o-o-o-o-ose Carmen Rasmussen. He tends to like gimmicky acts or uber-commercial ones more than straightforward solid performers. No disrespect to Paige, who is very attractive, she's no female Pocket Idol. So what is Simon hiding? This might be a situation where the top 24 format is superior -- the last time we had something like this was in Season 3 when Latoya London came out of nowhere to get into the finals. But her lack of an early push crushed her chances. I'm hoping Paige is similarly worthy.

Siobhan Magnus
Who?

So that's the round-up. I'll write one up for the boys, too, and then a wrap-up after each perf with predicks!!!!! So excited! This is where it gets good, and you just keep cutting yourself over and over saying that you'll never watch this trash again and that you are disappointed by American and that the producers stink and that this is the end of TV as we not and yadda yadda.

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